Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

Well, here we are...some time later with a new last name (almost) and a new title (Mrs.).

How's married life.....great! :)

So our wedding was beautiful, our honeymoon idyllic. Now I get the honor and pleasure of being the matron of honor in my middle sister's wedding in a year. Oh how much fun it will be. But all these things caused me to pause and consider my path.

I love planning parties. I think it is so much fun to consider a decor and what can make someone's dreams come true. I also would love to get back into my art. I recently designed a frame for my sister's engagement present and it look amazing! (I will add a picture here----->)

Most importantly, I am settling into my role as a stepmom. Although we do not get the pleasure of my stepson's company at great measure, any time I get to spend with that young man is an absolute joy. I also think about the book I had started writing. I set that down for a while as well. Life take over, unfortunately and other joys in life get put in the back burner.

All good things come to an end but the end is never permanent. Everything is relative and able to be picked back up. My art, creativity and my life is just taking off. I am so lucky and fortunate to have amazing family and a great husband around to support me along the way.

I hope to be a better and more frequent visitor to my blog now. Sorry for the hiatus but we will get it back into shape :)

An Extended Vacation

...and when I say that, I don't mean from the everyday. I mean from this. I have been away for some time now. I apologize. Life has its ups and downs and lately, the downs keep coming from uphill.  The wedding is well on its way, current to 65 days remaining (eek!). Work is going forward as work often does.  But perhaps I am better to break these items down by type and discuss individually.

Wedding first. We have all our major vendors planned out and only need finalize certain elements. That is an excellent feeling. Not an excellent feeling? Feeling a struggle between you and your bridesmaids and your bridesmaids against each other. Someone not being able to afford a dress, a family making you feel guilty for wanting your vision and then they are able to afford it afterall. Your sisters wanting to give you what you want in celebration whereas your friend, a bridesmaid, fights for something polar opposite. All the while, the word "tradition" comes into play. That's not tradition, that's not done, traditionally....STOP! I am not a traditional woman. I will be wearing flats, not heels. My flower girl will be wearing a color, not white. The ring bearer will be wearing khakis and a shirt, not a tux. I will be straightening and request you straighten your hair to save time the morning of. Get it got it good! Our day, our way is pretty soon going to become my motto.

On top of all this, my fiance received a summons yesterday that we need to be in court the day we are scheduled to leave our honeymoon to come home. So, unless it is resolved and cancelled, we will be cutting our honeymoon short. But rest assure, his ex may try, but she won't destroy me.

I begin 12-hour shifts for a second time tomorrow. My coworker I am covering goes abroad for a week. I am exhausted. I don't have any energy. My stress level is through the roof and I never seem to relax. My tension is up, as I am sure my blood pressure is. Meanwhile in the thick of this, I am trying to determine my life path. Further my education but how and for what? What step to take?

There are glimmers of "hope" I guess you can say. My fiance and I are working to strengthen our relationship through this strife. We see it as an opportunity to increase our communication and our intimacy. I continue to write when inspired. Ironically, the book has outlines but the majority of chapters have not been completed so I might leave and edit them. I might need to reconsider my process. I need to purchase a dremel to continue on my jewelry making endeavor. I am also going to be making my bridesmaids gifts so I will work on those as well. Thank goodness a massage is coming in a few weeks and I might have a glimmer of hope as to making it through all this.

Like a Flip of a Coin

Yesterday, everyone at work got excited.  It was announced that our center's definition of business casual was going to expand to include suchs items as jeans and shorts.  Provided, of course, that they are appropriate.  Everyone was a flutter.  No more slacks and khakis alone, collared shirts, we can wear leggings and long enough shirts, yipee!

But something inside me told me there was more to this announcement.

My suspicions were confirmed today.  Wednesdays I always work the late shift, allowing my colleague on a project with me time with her children.  When I came in, she greets me with, "Did you hear?  The whole center is going to a different schedule?"

As you can imagine, rumors were running rampant and taking over our day.  People were worried for their jobs, trying to make a decision that I had no information about.  Finally, near my lunch time, I was called in with the last group for the meeting.  At the head of the table sat three women.  They looked overall polite and I had seen them previously.  Then the bombshell was dropped:

"We are not as competitive as we once were," one started, "and after reviewing the information, we have discovered that we are not using our employees to full potential."  (In other words, we are wasting resources.)

And ultimatum was made.  10 volunteers needs to move to another department by the end of the day or else someone will volunteer some individuals to fill the remaining spaces.  As it stands, 4 of those spaces have yet to be filled.  My position will change as I will be taking on more work but I have been told I am needed for a project and they cannot lose any people.

I feel bad.  The stress level is up.  You get to wear your jeans but now you have to make a choice.  If these positions are not filled by full-tme employees currently, then those have a choice.  Just stressful and a down day...

As You Like It

In his play As You Like It, Shakespeare writes a monologue in which two lines are well-known by the world:

 

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players."

Today, this came to mind and I took the metaphor to heart.  Day in and day out, I work with people in my peer group who become complacent in the roles they are in.  Yet, they do nothing to propel themselves or change their destiny.  For example, if you are not happy in your job, why are you not looking into how you can become happy or change positions?

I too was complacent at one point.  I found it too difficult to work towards changing things that don't ever seem to stay changed.  I finally decided to put my head down and accept the hardships as things not meant for me.  I read a wonderful picture recently which referred to Abraham Lincoln.  One of the most memorable presidents who had ran for political office repeatedly and failed every time until he was elected President of the United States.

We learn a lot through our failures.  We learn what no to do, but more importantly, we learn to persevere.  Today, I thought of a way to add on to the words of Mr. Shakespeare: In this case, our decisions are our props.  Only good actors know how to effectively use them.  We are all given choices in life.  If we do not work to make choices that will benefit us or accept the bad decisions we have made, we cannot change our path.

Another short one but one does not need to be long winded to express a point.  Embrace life, its successes and failures, its rights and wrongs.  More importantly, remember to not give up on the journey because that's the most exciting part.  Don't miss the ride or the destination won't mean as much.

Making Dreams Come True

We all are searching for something in life.  Purpose, meaning, a realization of some sort.  But what happens when that doesn't fall directly into your lap?

In my past posts, I have spoken of phrases like "Follow your bliss" or "Carpe Diem", creating your own destiny and path.  This goes for all aspects in your life, including your need to find a purpose.  I have always had a desire to create.  I love writing, sewing, making jewelry, playing music, anything that is creative.  I have always wanted to translate that into something to truly give me a sense of ownership and belonging.  I feel as though, with the support of my fiancé, I finally have the opportunity to achieve this.

I have been writing this blog and you have been reading it.  That fuels my desire to write.  What's more is I am also penning a book of sorts from these posts as well.  Inspirational, a little religious and all lessons learned.  These two things fuel the fire created by my desire to read, write and be read.

I have also created a Facebook page for my crafts/jewelry.  "Made by LJ" is something I have worked towards for a long time.  Will I ever have a physical store front?  Maybe not.  But that's not how I measure my success.  My success is measured by having people ask me to create things for them that they are willing to purchase.  It is measured by compliments paid on the inventory I currently have and special requests.  It means I am making something that people like.

So where does one go from here?  Up.  There is never an ending, only ever beginnings to a journey.  I hope to never feel defeat in any of my ventures.  I know if I ever do, my loving and amazing fiancé will be there to help me rediscover my passion and drive for what I make.  If you have time, stop by my page and take a look at what I have created!

www.facebook.com/madebylj

Remember that life is too short to let it go by.  You will some day look up and notice that you stared at the ground far too long.  Seize what bit of sunlight you have and make the light eminent in your existence.  And more importantly, support one another in endeavors.

Sorry for being away...

It has indeed been a long week and weekend.  I know I have fallen by the wayside as far as my posts have been concerned, but I have been working hard.  I have my regular job, which I go to every day to meet the specifications of my employer.  I also have been trying to start a business to sell the jewelry and other hand-crafted items I make.  I also have been working on the book I hope to create in conjunction with this blog.

Keep in touch and let me know what you want to hear!  Are you interested in my jewelry?  Perhaps in my book and what it will be about?  Perhaps you want to hear more about my life, my experiences and what my fiance and I face every day in life.

Tell me!

I can't write what I don't know is wanted.  I am going to try and be better and more consistent this week.  It is more difficult when I work early days than late (as I am this week).  This week, I can sit in front of my computer and write, cup of coffee in my hand.

I hope you all have a great week.  Remember to enjoy this thing called "La Vie!"

Vices Reversed

As human beings, we all face vices throughout our lives.  These vices may change over time and may come to impact who we are as individuals.  But to deny the presence of any vice is to deny a basic human nature.  Vices are depicted as something negative upon a person.  +Merriam-Webster defines "vice" in the 1c definition as, "a habitual and usually trivial defect of shortcoming."  With this definition in mind, the term "vice" can be extended to even the most basic of bad habits.

In a previous post, I have shared that I had a vice of food.  Food was how I made myself feel better, how I filled time when bored and other obstacles I had faced.  Alas, I wish this was the only vice I have had to battle, but there is another.  Happily, I am having great deal more success battling the latter.  World: I was a nail bitter.

Growing up, I had all the excuses for biting my nails. I play violin and nails will get in the way of playing, or, When I go horse riding (which was rarely), the nails will hurt the horse, or, I can't stop.  I actually successfully quit biting my nails for a month before I graduated from college.  Unfortunately, those big papers hit along with a few all-nighters and all that success went by the wayside.  A few weeks ago, I was presented with the opportunity to meet someone higher in the company.  Upon this information, I immediately looked at my hands and a resolve was developed.  I have not bitten my nails since.

Like any addiction (because I do believe both of these items qualify as an addiction for me), the risk of temptation is there and even more so given the nature of my vices.  We all have to eat and my nails are always present on my body.  It isn't like other addiction where I can cleanse myself of the temptation.  I keep my nails painted because if they aren't, the temptation is there even more than normal.

What is your vice with which you battle?  Perhaps you have not identified what you face everyday and that is perfectly normal.  As in any addiction, the first step is admitting you have a problem.  I have a problem with abusing the presence of food and biting my nails.  Once you see the problem, know the problem, it is easier to work to solving the problem.

Ironically, I work on a smoking cessation chat line and help people with addiction everyday.  I have picked up some suggestions that may help anyone, including myself:
-> Make a list of reasons to quit, goals once you quit and rewards along the way.  Keep this close at hand for whenever you experience the need to feed your vice/addiction.

No matter what it may be...

-> Find something to do to distract yourself from your craving.  I still need to work on this one but if your vice requires your hands, keeping your hands busy distracts from the vice.
-> Remember that this is not solved in one leap.  The battle of vice/addiction is fought day by day, not at the end of the journey.  Wake up every morning with the resolve to fight this day for your health, your peace of mind and your future.

Just three things to think about.  I am hopping offline so I might get ready for the day.  I might do something to keep myself distracted.  I hope you all have a wonderful day and enjoy a thing called, "La Vie."

Decision and more...

As life continues to propel us forward, we are bound to have to face decisions.  These decisions can vary from person to person and be as vast as the ocean.  One of the most vital decisions is how we lead our lives: Floater or Learner?

I believe that these are two broad categories that we all fall into in some form or fashion.  The Floater is a person who moves through life with ease, no real drive as things are handed to them or comes easily to them.  Goals are attainable and obstacles are few.  The individuals seemingly have little problems socially or academically.  The Learner, however, is driven by their past experiences to continuously look to better themselves.  These are people who constantly seem to face obstacles and have the need to renew the resolve in facing the world.  These are people who seem overly ambitious and have that intellectual flame, a never quenchable thirst for knowledge.

You may be asking yourself, "I don't fall into either one.  There are both very extreme categories."  Now, now, don't get your feathers ruffled.  You may not fall in one category or the other, but rather a combination of the two.  That is a possibility as well.  You may find, after further reflection, that you began in one category and then changed to another category.  We are not static in life and we are constantly shifting and changing.

The reason I bring this up?  Our decisions are ours alone.  No matter what category you fall into, you are not bound to that by life.  You can change your path if you so choose to seek that change.  Only you have the power of your Life path in your hands.

We Remember...

Tonight, I am not going to speak long.  I had a very long weekend and a difficult day.  Why, you may ask?  I found out today that someone passed away at work yesterday.  She apparently seemed to have fallen asleep at her desk and no one was able to rouse her.  By the time first responders had come to the scene, it was too late.  She had gone from this world and into a better one.  I only found out later in the day that it was a woman I had trained a few weeks ago.  My heart breaks for her family.  She was a young woman of only 33.  I had spent a full afternoon with her and felt as though I knew her.

Life is too short to waste it on petty arguments or disruptive behavior.  Stop destroying your health with vices.  Embrace the time we have because, as in this situation, we just don't know how long we actually have on this earth.  That's all I can really say for now.  I am going to sit in meditation and try to be cheered by friends and family, thankful for each breath I am able to take.

Abandoned by Society

As you may have gathered from previous posts, I work in the customer service sector.  It can be a very trying job at times, but it works for those of us who genuinely want to help people and solve their problems.  Yesterday, well at work, I came into contact with an individual that caused me to nearly cry.  I received a call from a gentleman who was happy to talk.  Come to learn over the course of the conversation, this gentleman was a disabled veteran with 100% service through the VA.  He had been married several times previously and enjoyed funny things in life.  And before we disconnected after an hour and a half, he told me to call him anytime, that he would talk my ear off.  I came to realize that this is a man who is lonely, who has limited human contact, who wanted to call a utility company, knowing someone would answer and talk to him.

Speaking to him made me think about how lucky I really am.  I am a young woman who is engaged to a wonderful man.  I am able-bodied with no physical limitation other than one I put upon myself.  Most of all, I have people around me to talk to, fulfilling a basic human need.  It really made me feel badly for the gentleman on the phone.  He clearly wanted someone to talk to.  A previous agent had spoken with him and had complained the entire time about being on the phone for so long a time.  I couldn't hang up on him because all I could think about was things I learned through my maternal grandmother.

I can't remember a time without my grandmother living with my family.  I remember her apartment being built on to our home and vaguely remember when she formally moved in.  I remember alternating nights and how dinner was arranged.  One night, she would come down stairs and have dinner at our house, the next night with my grandmother at her house, three steps up.  I remember talking her walking cane and pretending my sisters and I were performing.  We would put on skits and plays, act out our days and what we had seen.  I remember her laugh.  One of the most memorable moments would have to be over Christmas.  My mom had gotten some Christmas crackers that had whistles in them with music.  We had so much fun trying to remember which whistle was ours...

I also remember watching my Nanna growing older.  I recall the conversation that began to come up about how she needed help.  Our busy schedule did not allow us to dedicate the time and care to her needs.  Nanna was put into an assisted living facility and we visited her often.  We took glamour shots with her (what great memories in those pictures) and went to dances.  During those dances, my sisters and I would dance with anyone.  It became obvious that some people there did not have family visit them, hadn't had family visit them for some time.  Interacting with myself and my sisters, I could see a light inside them, the smiles shining radiantly from their faces.

Why do we walk away from our veterans, the disabled or the elderly?  We can learn so much from all of them.  Veterans hold information that could help prevent war and conflict in the future, as well as stories of brotherhood, camaraderie, and teamwork.  The disabled, no matter the disability, can teach us how to live life without allowing obstacles to get in our way.  The elderly can teach us about their lives, allowing us to learn from the mistakes of their generations, learn about our ancestors and just about what is important in life.  Just because someone may seem to be a blemish on the world does not mean they are devoid of any merit.  The people we abandon are most commonly those people we can learn the most from.  Remember to take time to speak to those who want someone to listen.  You can do a lot for someone just by lending an ear.

Ebb and Flow

Much like the number of visitors that come to my page (whether actually real or not), life consists a component of ebb and flow.  Good times come in as the bad times go out to sea and vise-versa as well.  Newton's law comes to mind in that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  So what does this mean for our lives and how does it impact?

When was the last time you were at the beach?  We are coming into the summer months and I am certain this is something favorable on your minds to do this time of year.  When you get to the beach, whenever that is, I want you to do something for me.  Go to the beach at dawn.  Yes, I know it's your vacation.  Yes, I realize you may have spent all year getting up after dawn to go to work but trust me...

At dawn, very few people are out to spoil the sights.  The sounds of the waves crashing echo singularly in your ears as the seagulls begin to stir.  You may see fishing boats or even dolphins in that time.  And to see the first light of day kiss the horizon and stretch to the white peaks of the waves is such a calming thing to witness.  Also, watch the ebb and flow of the waves.

Tides are brought in by the moon, controlled by the moon.  No matter where the tide is, however, ebb and flow is always constant.  The same comparison can be drawn to life.  No matter where your life is, no matter what stage, financial state or way you measure your life, the ebb and flow is constant.  With that comes balance.  With balance ultimately comes peace.  Peace that can be found in a sunrise.  Peace can may be lost when the next wave comes in but can easily be restored.

I struggled for peace internally sometimes.  I fear I worry too much, stress too much.  I have no control over where Life takes me sometimes and when I do have control, it is limited to how much I can influence.  But...I am learning I have control in how to respond to these changes.  Truth is, I can worry, fret, stress, cry and boo hoo until the cows come home!  However, when my tears dry and my fit ceases, Life and its challenges are still there.

We can try to ignore them or we can cope and face them.  We can try to run from it or we can embrace it.  Life is like a poker game where someone has gone all-in and you have two choices: to fold or to match the bet.  When Life hands you another challenge, will you go all-in and face it full force?  Or will you fold and let Life take you where it wills, as a piece of driftwood on the ocean.

Whenever I was last at the beach, several years ago, I was able to see the sun rise.  It took my breath away and, for even just a moment, I felt as though everything would be OK.  I knew the sun would eventually set on a bad time in Life and rise on a good time.  Well, World, the good time is here but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be prepared.  Embrace Life, all it gives you and its challenges.  It is that from which we draw our experiences and it is that from which we become who we are.

Deer and Fireflies

This week is my late week at work.  I do not get home until ten at night daily, only to come home to a cooked dinner (or nearly cooked, depending on what's on the menu) and a couple of hours to ourselves before bed beckons to me.  It is hard to enjoy what is around you that late when all you can think of is what you need to get done.  The chores pile up as the day wears on.

Last night, however, I was made aware of things I would otherwise ignore.  I first passed by deer, two does to be specific.  What is significant about this is the fact that I spend the majority of my drive dreading seeing deer.  When I first moved to this area, I had hit a deer (see previous posting!) and had tried to avoid them like the plague.  But what it took from me is the beauty and amazement that the deer bring to my life.  Last night, these two does brought a little bit more peace and serenity into my life.

I pass a lot of fields on my drive, being in the countryside.  When you pass something repeatedly, you begin to ignore what it is you are going by.  Last night, I passed one such field, just prior to a well-lit area and my eye was immediately drawn to it.  Lights were flashing in the flied but these were not any lights made by electricity.  The field was filled with fireflies, shining in their lighting pattern to attract a mate, hoping to find their match.  I found it difficult to take my eyes off of such a sight.  I had never seen it before.

In these two examples, I had taken these simple things for granted or feared them, only to discover how much I was really missing.  It made me wonder how much I pass by everyday and miss in my life.  With all the wedding plans, one of the important things has to be photography.  My fiance and I will be too busy to take pictures ourselves, to capture those moments before we see one another that day.  So it was important when we spoke with our photographer to find someone who can capture those moments we want to cherish.  The moment he sees me coming down the aisle, the secret glances we give one another, the candid moment that create beauty in a moment.

Our photographer, Anthony V. Smith, has a photo journalistic style and this is what will give us what we desire from our wedding day.  And we should take this approach towards life as well.  Treat each moment as a secret glance from nature or something you can never recapture.  Those moments in life pass so quickly that, as soon as they are over, we are wishing we had them back.  I hope my fiance and I can get our friends' pictures and out photographer proofs and fall in love with the day anytime we view those moments together. In the meantime, our memories will serve as our cameras and our hearts will download the emotion.

Remembering Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day for the United States, a day that many people are happy to celebrate.  Often times, it is for the wrong reasons that they look forward to it, a day off to relax and have cook-outs.  But the reasoning behind this day is more significant than that.  Today is designated to remember and commemorate those men and women who had died while serving for our country.  We had traditionally extended that to cover the entirety of our armed forces, with Veterans' Day being used to honor those who have served.

I have a man in my family that did his duty to his country.  Although he did not die during his service, the fact I could never have the opportunity to meet him saddens me.  It is my maternal grandfather, Harold McKeon, who served during the Second World War.  Passed away before I was a twinkle in my father's eye, my granddad was kept alive by the medals and awards my Nanna kept and the stories she told us.  I remember coming home from school and running upstairs, eager to know something new.  I would go to the bottom drawer of her dresser and see all the military honors my grandfather achieved and, one by one, take them out, asking my Nanna, "What was this for?"

I wish I had written the stories down.  I wish I could remember everything that she told me.  My Nanna has also passed away since I was a young girl, running up the three steps that separated our home from the apartment we built on for my grandmother to come live with us.  She had by then moved into an assisted living facility, the highlight of my Sundays.  And, although it hurt sometimes to see her advancing in age, I cherished every moment I had with her.  While she wasn't able to physically see me graduate college and won't be able to physically attend my wedding, I know she is smiling down on me, my grandfather by her side, along with all my relatives that have gone before me.

My Nanna and Granddad on their wedding
day.

My fiance and I do not have a chance to celebrate Memorial Day by having the day off.  We have to go to work.  But I am glad I can do this.  I work on a project that is meant and designed to assist those in our military in some of the most basic needs, to improve their quality of life.  I can also work towards helping myself grow and excel in my place of employment.  While others will be having fun, spending time with family and enjoying a day to relax, my fiance and I will be doing our civic duty.

If you are in the United States and have today off, please enjoy it.  But keep this in mind.  When you go to a restaurant or to the grocery store today or simply going for a walk maybe in your hometown, be aware of those businesses that are still open.  These are the people who are also sacrificing so you can better enjoy your day.  When interacting with them, try to keep that in mind if they are not the cheeriest.  Take it from someone who has had to work when everyone else has the day off: it is sometimes hard to be happy when it seems everyone else can relax.  Enjoy today.  If you are not celebrating Memorial Day, take a deep breath and celebrate what you can today: Life.

Creating Creative and Critical Thinking, a Struggle for All

Greensboro Batting Center facilities

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to share in something positive in my future stepson's life.  My fiance and I took him to the batting cages near my parents' house.  He had a blast!  For being in coach-pitch/T-ball, he did really well being in the slow-pitch baseball cage (balls traveling an average of 40-45 mph).  My fiance and I got to share something he loved with him and try and use it as a learning opportunity to better his ability.

When we got back to my parents' house, we continued to play with him, my sisters and parents participating as well.  The most beautiful thing is that the majority of the play occurred outside, without distraction from a television set or electronic materials.  But as with everyone, there are always hiccups in perhaps behavior during so much stimulation.  This did occur but I must say that the positive moments far outshone the negative.

It is a shame to think that some children in the world may not have the benefit of parents who want or are able to give them this kind of positive and creative interaction.  As in previous posts, some parents work multiple jobs to try and support their family.  When you are constantly working, you come home to find little time to spend with your family.  Maybe those parents come home only to creep into their children's rooms and kiss them goodnight, hoping that they can have more time to foster the mind tomorrow.  Tomorrow comes and goes and they find themselves with less time than before.

The saddest out of all these possibilities is a parent who does not even want to give a child any attention or positive interaction.  These are sometimes the parents who maybe had a child young or maybe their relationship didn't work out.  Perhaps the bills have piled up and the parent or parents do not see the time as important to spend with their child/children.  This is an unfortunate reality in society.  There are many children who go without that guidance that is so desperately needed in their life.  This guidance creates the differentiation between what is positive and good in life in comparison to what is negative and bad.  Without this guidance, children are left to their own devices to work this out and may decide the opposite of reality.

More often than not (and I have touched on this before), when we don't teach our children, we leave media to teach them for us.  When we leave media on too long, the lessons only get distorted and misleading.  Take for example video games.  Instead of children go outside and running from each other and imagining something to run from, they are content to run on a computer screen.  From this, the imagination is being starved and the body is being ignored.  While watching television with my future stepson, it is disturbing to think how much television has changed.  While there are some educational shows, a lot of the cartoons do not teach anything of value.  For example, I have seen shows that seem to teach that finding an easy way out is a good way out.

We want to teach our children, critical and creative thinking, problem solving and to use their imagination.  If we do not help our children develop these skills, they can experience difficulty in their future.  This is way both playing with others and learning to play by themselves is so important and vital.  I am grateful that I have two sisters that I could play with growing up and develop games with.  So do yourself a favor.  If you have children, play with them or help them learn to play.  Buy them items to craft with, develop dress up boxes (for boys too!), and play with your children, never forgetting to challenge them and yourself as well.  Teach them to enjoy life as you have come to enjoy it!

Forge Your Own Path

"The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves."

-William Shakespeare

Throughout life, we all encounter those moments we refer to in several different terms.  Fate, destiny, it was "meant to be"...all of these terms indicate that something occurred that was somehow predetermined in the universe.  Now, I am not saying this is not completely incorrect because I do think there are things that come to pass.  But I think to a degree, we control that fate as well.

When I was in middle school, I went with some friends to a place called Oneighty.  This was a safe place where kids around the same age can go to.  For the first hour, you could play video games, have something to eat, hang out with your friends and the second hour was dedicated to the ministry portion of the program. One time, during the second hour, the topic turned to dating and how you find your soulmate.  The advice given to us in those seats was that your soulmate will come to your door.

Looking back, I realize that what they meant was that when you aren't looking, Love will find you.  But at that age, I took this to mean literally, sit at home, and wait for the person you are meant to be with to arrive.  Love, like life, sometimes needs helping along.  While you shouldn't search for it, you shouldn't ignore it either.  We must create our own destiny in Love to an extent.

Why does this come up, you ask?  Because this applies to the work place as well.  At my place of employment over the years, I have had many people mill promises over me.  A lot of times, I was content to rest on my laurels and wait for these promises to come to fruition.  I suppose you can see where this is going.  Nothing ever really became of what was said.  This can wear on a person who is constantly looking to better herself or improve who she is in work (she for myself, of course!).  This time, I determined that it needed to be different.

I was beginning to become frustrated.  I had a large system of support at first when I started at the company.  But, as it often happens, sometimes roles of the superiors change and with that, expectations and support can also alter.  I was holding a lot of things I wanted to see for myself.  However, I found myself waiting for someone else to make it happen for me.  Odd, as this is never how things work generally.  So, I came to a decision: take my own destiny, my own work future, into my hands.  I plan to start different training courses and searching out ways to better my skill set.

What about you?  Is there something currently in your life that you have been waiting to take care of itself?  Perhaps you, like me, are waiting for something in the workplace to take off?  Or perhaps you are waiting for Love?  Maybe it is something else entirely, a calling or something deeper.  You are not helping yourself by waiting for it to be handed to you.  Take chances, take risks and enjoy life!  Why wait for someone else to hand you something when you will feel so much better about it when you earn it?

Seeing the World Like a Child

Today was an eventful day.  Near the end of my work day, there was a tornado spotted not too far from our place of business.  As a result, everyone at my place of employment was quickly rushed into an area that would hopefully provide adequate cover for us.  There we stood, all of us, dispersed between three, windowless rooms.  No one was allowed to use their cell phone to let anyone know what was going on.  About 5 minutes after 6, we were given the all-clear, the tornado warning dropped to a severe thunderstorm warning.  With that, I left the company and drove off toward home, my shift having been completed 5 minutes prior.

The rain came down in sheets, violently lashing at anything that dared to pass through.  I sped along with all the other cars, almost as if we were racing between the rain drops.  Finally, I come out of the city and move farther and farther away from the rain clouds to find a surprise: it was dry.

Bone dry.  The sun was pouring down onto the Earth and the pavement, grass and everything else was dry, no sign of any precipitation.  I felt as though I had reverted back to a child, in wonderment of what I was beholding.  When I was a child, I seemed to think that when it rained, it rained around the world and when the sun was out, so it was every where on Earth.  Remember that moment when you would be outside and watching as a sheet of rain comes moving gradually towards you?  Hearing the rain hitting the ground quietly and the noise begins to grow, until you feel the heavy raindrops hit your skin, head and clothing.

I felt this way on the way home about another thing I noticed as well.  The sun at times was hidden behind that clouds.  But you could see the beautiful beams piercing through the cloud cover.  When I was younger, I associated this with God and angels, thinking this was glory raining down.  Nearing that concept of a rainbow, it served as a reminder that I was being watched.  I also considered Heaven to be the clouds, my relatives and loved ones walking over me, peeping over the edge to protect me.

When we are children, everything is so much simpler than it may appear now.  Beauty was easier to find in things and the search for happiness was never a burden.  The world came simple and everything was new.  I know I celebrate this mindset often but I am certain I am not the only person in the world who wishes she could go back to a simpler time in the world.

Well, Readers, my fiance has his son this weekend so I am not certain with what chance I will have to indulge you in my thoughts.  But if I have a moment to tell you what is happening or if the mood suddenly strikes me, I will be more than happy to share.  Until that point, enjoy life and don't let it pass you by.

Celebrating Life One Meal at a Time

My family got to have breakfast
with Pooh and friends when
we were at +Disney World 

This morning, my late morning during this week, I woke up leisurely.  Meanwhile, I could hear my fiance rushing around the apartment, getting ready to leave.  In typical fashion, we always joke about how I get to sleep in and he has to go work.  Imagine how he feels when I don't have to be at work until noon for all week long.  But where something seems beneficial, there is always a trade-off.  I don't get home until 10 PM with the drive.  And tomorrow I am back up in the morning hours to live at 8 AM.

This morning, I wandered around the apartment, pondering what I might make.  I settled on trying to make a poached egg, as we only had one egg, and to have it on toast.  When I sat down with my plate and coffee at my side, I recall how meals have marked milestones in my life.  First of all, breakfast, while the most important meal, is just about my favorite meal.  I also love what a meal represents which is the family togetherness and taking time to share what you have.

I remember meals like dinners after my graduation from school, eating when we first arrive in Dublin airport with my uncles meeting us at the gates.  I recall the first meal in Estonia with the wonderful use of herbs, especially with dill.  I recall the farewell meal we had in Lithuania, set out on the water before we flew away from a trip most people would love to have the chance to take.  I recall meals my fiance and I had on birthdays, with our families together.

I remember the +Dublin Airport well.

I think fondly of these meals for a multitude of reasons.  It could be because of the occasion it marked, celebrating the success that had been achieved.  Perhaps it was the location I got to indulge, almost feeling surreal in where I am getting to eat.  I think the most important reason why I remember meals is because of the people I enjoy and shared the meals with.

As we come into the summer months, there are several memorable meals coming up.  Memorial day is this upcoming Monday (unfortunately, I will be working) and July 4th, as well as pool parties, barbecues, cook outs and ballgames to attend.  The thing to remember is that the occasion isn't what makes a meal important or memorable.  It's the people you are with and the company you may be celebrating.  Even just making up an excuse to celebrate something can make a meal memorable.  This summer, I will more than likely been celebrating aspects of my upcoming nuptials, as well as family birthdays, fiance's birthday and other holidays.  Make every meal a memory and every day something to look forward to!

Holidays: On the Protected List

We all know the routine.  Get up, get ready for the day, drive to work, work all day/night, drive home, relax for a few hours and go to bed.  Only to get up and repeat the process the next day and the day after.  Pretty soon, without much more to break up our lives, it can become fairly monotonous.  That's why we have holidays throughout the year.  I realize that every holiday is to recognize either an important day in history or honor a specific group in society.  We all know we simply look forward to the day off.

But what about those people who don't have the luxury of a holiday?  Maybe these people work in the service industry (food, emergency, military, etc) to where they have to be at work so you can enjoy your holiday without much stress.  While the Blue Laws of old use to protect at least Sunday for all, these have gone by the wayside, sacrificed for our thirst to always have access to stores and restaurants, regardless of what those workers sacrifice for us.

Maybe the people work multiple jobs and while one might not be open, the other might have them scheduled?  Or they may work nights?  I remember I worked nights at one job into the holiday season and came home on Thanksgiving Day at 7 AM, having worked since 10 PM the previous night.  I have worked several hours into a holiday, whereas most people had gone to bed knowing their holiday had already started.  That year, I understood what someone who worked and lived their life this way all the time goes through.  I woke up around noon that day, in a daze and trying to get into the festivities quickly.

What if you heard that you may not get any holidays at all or very few holidays?  You are given time off to use but may not use it at your complete leisure due to the confines of what you work on.  As our society continues to propel itself further and further into the future, this may become a reality.  We are driven to higher productivity levels which more less time available for ourselves and more hours to log at work.  Our families are already sensing the strain from these pressures and we see this reflected in our divorce rates and the different lifestyles that have been adopted within the confines of a marriage.

You have the power of time in your hands.

How can we fix this?  We need to take time and focus on our families.  When we come home, finish any remaining work you have with expedience and take time to enjoy your family and your life.  This can be as simple as going out to dinner or enjoying a home cooked meal around a table together.  Sitting with your family, cuddled on the couch watching a movie or television.  Remember that our holidays can be taken away, government can change and life can shift dramatically.  But as long as we can cling to our families and all those morals within, that is one thing that cannot be lost, even with the onslaught of death.  Death cannot severe what is eternal.

Lightning, Tornadoes and Flooding...Oh My!

A few nights ago, I got to behold one of the most beautiful things in nature: a thunderstorm.  You may laugh, but I believe there is something simply amazing about the lightning striking across the sky, ripping the dark clouds apart, bringing light into the night for mere seconds.

There is so much symbolism that can be seen within lightning.  It happens typically in conjunction with a storm, a violent occurrence in nature.  It is electricity, something that we as people took so much time trying to figure out how to harness and use to our advantage.  It is almost angry, the thunder rolling behind it, almost a warning of the power you barely missed being inflicted upon your head.  With the exception, of course, of those individuals who have been struck by this part of nature.

So much of life can be compared to a lightning storm.  Life comes and goes in a blink of an eye.  If you aren't careful, you will miss the path you are suppose to walk down.  The only echo of that chance is the thunder that follows.  The bright streaks across the sky remind us that every moment is precious.  We have been having several storms lately but we cannot forget Oklahoma in our thoughts and prayers.  While we held witness to electricity striking across our sky, they held witness to a tower of wind, debris and terror.

I cannot imagine the fear that would overcome me should I ever see a tornado knocking at my doorstep.  What do you do in those moments?  Do you cling to your family or do try to outrun a freight train?  Yes, nature is a thing of beauty but a thing to fear as well.  When I was younger, I was reminded of this quite clearly.

Aerial views of Rocky Mount, NC
flooding

Hurricane Floyd ripped through my hometown of Rocky Mount, North Carolina.  I remember going through hurricanes vividly.  By the end of the night, my sisters and I would be with my parents in their room as the wind howled around us, trees seemingly being brought to their knees.  A calm would come but we know this is a false sense of security, the back wall of the monster fast approaching.  The morning after Floyd, we stepped outside to survey the damage.  To our surprise, we could see the water line two blocks behind our home.  We could go down the street to a valley where my sisters, our friends and all of us would ride our bikes down which was now filled with water...

Remember to celebrate life each and every day.  You never know when you will miss that strike of lightning for opportunity only to hear it in an echo.  And you never know when the water may be fast approaching your family.  Protect what you love and respect what you don't understand.  Most importantly, in times of need, look out for one another.  That's how my family and our neighbors got through, working together.  Until then, enjoy a thing called, "La Vie."

Tales of Friends, Impressions and Dancing

While I was driving to or from work yesterday, the radio DJ read a quote from C.S. Lewis about friendship. The quote was:

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” -C.S. Lewis

OK, after having read that, tell me that this quote doesn't ring true!  How many times are connections won between two people based on a similarity in action, hobby, upbringing or a myriad of other things.  I came across this not too long ago at work.

If you know me personally, I love doing impressions, no matter how horrible they are!  Furthermore, if you know me personally, you know that there are several characters on MadTV or +Saturday Night Live that I have come to perform to a T.  I can't remember the context that it came up at work, but I began doing these impressions with those people who sit in my area.

A woman across from my desk then said something that shocked me.  She all of a sudden said "Base-a-ball has been betty, betty good to me!" (phonetically speaking, of course)  I looked at her and said it back to her.  Apparently, both our families had said this growing up.  Her words, if not verbatim, were that she thought her family was the only one to say that phrase.  (By the way, everything I am reading cites Chico Escuela for saying this.)  We immediately began wondering if we were somehow related, distant cousins or something similar.

Is it not humorous that when we meet someone who has done the same, silly thing we use to do, that we associate that with somehow being related?  Me and this same co-worker also discovered our affinity for dancing around the house, no holds barred, having a great time.  And let me tell you, my sisters share this same pleasure with me as well!  One morning, after my fiance had witnessed me and my middle sister dancing around my parents' house, I told him I couldn't dance around the house with him there as it would be too weird and he would judge me.  After a slight pause, I asked him if he would or what his response would be?  His response?

"How would that be different from any other day?"

OK, it may sound like a cut-down but if you know me, you know that I thrive off of being absurd and fun, being silly and trying to feel carefree.  I say try because I am also an immense worry wart.  The truth is, I am weird, strange, bizarre and love being silly and I do not wish to change this for anything or anyone.  I may turn it down at work or at other otherwise inappropriate places, but whenever I am comfortable, I feel as though the world is my stage, much as Shakespeare conceived.  The fact that my fiance acknowledges that this is a part of who I am is a compliment to me.

At the same time that we see kindred spirits in those around us, we have to know when to excuse someone from our lives as well.  One of the hardest lessons my mom tried to teach me was to get rid of the negative energy that may surround me or be carried to me by other people.  I really had to do some introspection and cleanse my life.  Let me tell you, when that negative influence was gone, I felt lighter.  I still feel lighter!  We won't be able to completely expunge ourselves of negative energy or people but the more we can dismiss, the lighter the load we carry through our lives.  Because at that point, we are only carrying our load and no one else's.

Well, it is a beautiful day today.  I have work to go to and then home again, home again, jiggity jig!  Tomorrow, my fiance and I are traveling to Tennessee in order to see his son play in a ball game!  Very excited to celebrate such a moment with my future stepson!  So as was said by my dad, "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise!"

Pushing the Boundaries

Why is it that you look both ways before crossing the street?  Or you don't steal?  It's against the "rules" right?  Well, the latter is against the law, but we were all raised with knowing certain rules or how to behave. And whether we acknowledge it or not, these "rules" govern all aspects of our lives in both big and small ways.

Why do I bring this up?  Well, yesterday, I came across a pair of shoes that I thought were just beautiful.  I have a color block dress with the same color and the shoes would have created the perfect pop of color.  I had a girly moment and posted it to Facebook, pleading all my to grant me reprieve for being stereotypical.  I suggested pairing it with the dress, yes, but also with black tights, even though the shoe is open toe.  I got a comment back from one of my friends which told me, "You can't wear tights with open toe shoes."

Why, may I ask?  I am not under the public eye for scrutiny so no chance of ending on a "worse dressed list."  I responded with the well known, "Rules are made to be broken."  Out of curiosity, I just did a +Google search for "tights and open toe shoes" and what popped up but image and image of women wearing tights and open toe shoes.  Therefore, I am not the first to have this inclination.

Furthermore, fashion is all about you and your comfort.  Listen to me, ladies!  If you want to rock an outfit and it may not be wildly popular by your friends, they don't matter.  Fashion is all about having the confidence to walk into a room and feeling comfortable in your own skin.  If you simply dress to impress and not for yourself, you lose what is so important to fashion which is your identity, your sense of style.  Now, I am not advocating for going against a dress code or breaking laws.  Simply, if you have a safe way to express yourself that will not endanger yourself, others or get anyone into trouble, then go for it!

We cannot live to please others because in that, we lose ourselves.  This goes for everyone, man, woman and child.  If all we do is work to make others happy and not be happy ourselves, you lose our path and who we are.  In high school, I read The Power of Myth, a book by Joseph Campbell.  In this book, he converses across many topics that span the passage of time.  But one thing that I remember the most clearly is "Follow your bliss."  I try to carry this with me daily.  To follow your bliss is to move towards what drives you, what you are passionate about and not losing who you are as a person.

With that, I leave you!  Yes, I know it is a short entry today.  Lately, inspiration has not struck me as readily as I am accustomed.  Hopefully this will change!

The Evolution of Art

Life changes and evolves.  Unfortunately, we cannot stop this.  It is simply the way the world develops and shifts.  This is evident in both in the changing of our world and our environment.  We see this in the changes that come in animal species in their colors or migration patterns.  But one of the biggest way to see the changes in our world is the examine the art as it exists through time.

Art is one way that presents both the social and physical change of the world.  This can be everything from the representation of who is in power to a society's concept of beauty to the evolution of intellect and technology.  Let us first reflect on the power of society.  Commonly, those in power were one of the few who could afford to sit for hours for a live painting and/or portrait to be taken.  These would often hang in their homes or palaces to signify the wealth and lounging they could afford while the rest of society had to work feverishly for even a few pennies to afford their lodging.  In these paintings, the representation of wealth also changes.  The shifting of wealth can be seen more so when the countries began to push for their expansion.  Furs and jewels changed for silk and spices to gold and silver even to crops and commerce.  When you examine paintings, look at all the clues it contains to have an idea about the social standing of the person in the world and an idea of the wealth they possess.

A society's ever evolving concept of beauty can be examined through the eyes of an artist as well.  While it is true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, art will reflect the society majority of what is beautiful.  If you study work and focus on the female form alone, this is evident.  It is often said that in times of famine, larger women become beautiful, while in time of plenty, thinner women become idolized.  In the Middle Ages art, women are often depicted as having a rounded belly, the natural curves and a full breast.  Children were sometimes depicted suckling, the woman cautiously smiling at the artist.  Today, through the eyes of media (our art form), women are forever becoming thinner, pressed for more fat to be lost.  Curves are not praised as much as they were in times past.  The clothing in the paintings also portray what is beautiful as it accentuates or displays what is found to be attractive.  These are all clues that you can think about while looking at a painting to find out more about the time period in which it was painted.

Finally, even simply the style of painting can help relay how far society may have progressed intellectually.  Consider the first known drawings, found in the caves of France.  The animals were out of proportion, the human figures are not well-developed and there is not a lot of background.  A simple representation of how their lives were lead.  As our understanding of the world, light and shadow evolved, so did the complexity and realism of the artwork.  Coming into the Renaissance period, the artwork seemed to be of people actually taken in real life, a photograph for that time period.  But even we can over-evolve.  Such movements as this are impressionism, surrealism and cubism, among others.  The art world has taken more leaps with the addition of instantaneous entertainment, such as television and movies.  We have come from the beginnings of live action movies to 2D animated movies to computer generated films and 3D animation.  As our intellect and our technology changes, our art form changes along with it.  Forms of expression and methods of sharing them has changed.

This is just a basic overview on what is evident when you go through an art book.  I invite you to explore the art world with these points in mind.  Remember to reflect on the time period, the concept of beauty, what may have been considered wealth and to look at a painting with renewed eyes.  Most importantly, remember that while you are trying to understand the artist and what was trying to be conveyed art is also meant to be enjoyed.  Take a moment either before your analysis or after to enjoy the light and shadow on the canvas, the light in the subject's eyes and to enjoy the composition that is this piece of art.  After all, what is art unless you can't enjoy what is there?

Hair: To Straighten or Not to Straighten

Every woman encounters it.  What to do with your hair in the morning?  We all have a basic routine for bathing, make-up and moisturizing as some women like to do.  But the ever facing battle for some of us is our hair.  A lot of us are not blessed with stick straight or un-tameable curls and, instead, spend time every day trying to coax our locks to behaving.  I know I have struggled with this for years.

The battle continues!

Straight hair is wildly popular and, for the longest time, I didn't want my curly hair.  I remember when it took three hours to straighten my hair when it was to the small of my back.  Even now, it take about thirty minutes to an hour to take a flat iron to my hair, only to have the curl immediately begin to return.  I finally began to realize I needed to embrace the spirals that sprout all over my head.  But here enters a new conundrum.

I would walk into a salon and say to the stylist, I would like to have a hair cut that helps my hair curl better.  Intuitively to even a non-stylist, we may equate this with something lighter to let the curls recoil and maybe some layers for the same reason.  For the most part, the stylist would take time to examine my hair.  I had one stylist even wait until my hair began to dry to see how the curls looked.  But a lot of the time, some form of heat was taken to my head, either in the form of a blow dryer and round brush or flat iron, regardless of what I had initially requested.

Last week, I began to try to find more answers on how to help my hair find its true form.  Granted, my locks are in severe need of a cut, but for the time being, I needed to find a way to bring life into my hair.  What I read was completely contrary to what I had learned but due to the different type of hair I have, it needs different treatment.  What I learned is that sulfate, which is found in shampoo, is an enemy to curly hair, along with silicone.  Both of these items fight against the curl.  Sulfate strips the hair of its natural oil, oil that is needed to help give the hair control.  Oil travels down from the scalp easier on straight hair versus curly hair. When you strip your hair of this oil, your hair appears frizzy and out of control.  Silicon weighs hair down, making it more difficult for the curl to shape.

So what did I do?  I found a link to HealthyCurls.net that gave advice on how to find the texture of your hair.  The advice?  When in the shower, use a shampoo to clarify your hair.  Then, go through with a sulfate-free conditioner.  Rinse thoroughly.  Then, turning the water off, put more conditioner, running your fingers through all your hair, turning your head over in order to cover all your hair.  I then took a towel and scrunched my hair, drying it slightly as I went.  Although it would be ideal to wait until the hair is completely dry, I actually went to bed while it was still drying.  However, I woke to this: -------------->

I love it!  I was sending pictures to my family.  Although my fiance told me I needed to wash it, I think it feels great!  I am so excited that I may know now how to handle my hair.  I will continue to explore this and keep your posted.  Until then, enjoy this beautiful day and a thing called, "La Vie."

Less Than Five Months...

If you are a regular reader of mine, you know that I am engaged and will be married.  What you may not know is that the wedding is set for October, so the date is fast approaching.  We have a lot of our decision already decided.  We have the venue and catering, date, dress, DJ, photographer, with only the details of each to consider.  Only big things remaining are the flowers, cake, invitations (although our guest list is made) and rings.  It is amazing to consider how fast life gets away from us.  It seems only yesterday that my fiance and I were looking at venues, trying to find that place of our dreams.  Now, we are needing to find time to tie up loose ends.

This caused me to consider how time flies and how we get caught up in life.  All this comes into perspective when you have a moment to reflect.  This moment comes for me everyday when I log into this blog but it also comes when I have a moment to watch something as simple as the birds visiting a feeder.  I got to enjoy the birds, squirrels and other various creatures while over visiting Pawpaw yesterday.  It was during this time that the bright colors of the males were brought up again (not unlike a previous post).  My fiance brought up a point that I had forgotten in consideration of the coloring of the males.  True, they are brightly colored to attract a mate but it serves a deeper purpose as well.  The bright colors makes them more susceptible to being captured by birds of prey, meaning the females are often times spared in order to continue raising their young.

Watching birds go about their business is very comical and peaceful.  To guess which birds are babies, just beginning to fly and as a result, shed their baby fat is an enjoyable experience.  How they interact with the squirrels or how the squirrels work their way around the man-made contraptions we build to keep them out. I hope that in less that five months, I will not miss the life passing us by, the enjoyment and celebration that is the time building until the wedding day.  Almost everyday, we text about looking forward to that fateful day.  And each day, we remind each other that while the day is exciting, we can't wish our lives away.  Afterall, we might miss a lot in between.

As the morning passes, I am enjoying the company of our little dog, Molly and the comfort that only corn muffins and coffee can give you.  Dinner is ready to be turned on and the TV is already on.  I am watching Sex and the City for now, ironic as Carrie Bradshaw is a writer and I am writing while watching.  Work will come soon and the day will continue to progress as normal.  I can rest easy knowing I come home to a puppy that will love me unconditionally, a fiance that will open his arms for me and a bed I can fall into at the end of the night.  And all my family is simply a phone call away.  Life is good.

Reflecting on Gluttony

This weekend was to be spent celebrating the woman who brought you into the world.  We do special things for our mothers, take them to meals, buy them flowers and in general, dote on them as they did for us at one time.  I had such an enjoyable weekend celebrating with both my mom and my fiance's mom.

Saturday, my fiance and I drove into Greensboro, North Carolina area to spend time with my family.  My mom, dad, baby sister and my fiance and me went to lunch and enjoyed a filling meal.  Afterwards, the silliness commenced with my baby sister and I carrying on through the grocery store.  This silliness was reinforced with the arrival of our middle sister.  After dinner, a dance around the house commenced, the rest of my family doubled over in laughter.  From what I am told, there is a video of this activity as well.

Today, we drove into Roanoke, Virginia in order to visit with my fiance's family.  The day began with his youngest niece's dedication at Villa Heights Baptist Church.  We all chuckled as how his other niece was eager to be held in the arms of the pastor performing the dedication.  From there, we went with my fiance's sister and her family and both of his parents to lunch, enjoying the laughter and company of family.  A surprise was waiting for me at my fiance's parents house after a card had so generously been given to me in honor of my impending stepmom status in just a few short months (more to come on the wedding plans)!  A bouquet of garden roses was given to me, their perfume so sweet I felt as though I was walking through gardens.  Our final stop for the day was to enjoy the company of my fiance's paternal grandfather, Pawpaw, and step-grandmother.

Now Pawpaw, out of all the family I met, is one that can always make me nervous.  He is a very nice gentleman and couldn't be more welcoming a spirit.  He is also a longtime pastor who commonly travels to speak at other churches.  I think due to his profession in both the community and in the family causes me to realize that he is one that needs to approve.  We were all talking about how life had been treating us and how our day had gone and Pawpaw and his wife discussed how they were stuffed from an ornate and elaborate Mother's Day brunch at +Hotel Roanoke & Conference Center DoubleTree Hotel .  At this point, Pawpaw paused and jumped into a moment of reflection about how my fiance's Uncle D and himself had gone to East Congo and South Sudan and other Third World countries and witnessed the depth of poverty first hand.  How to have seen such poverty and starvation can really put into perspective the wealth that we have at hand, Pawpaw referenced a questions he raised to Uncle D about how can he cope with sitting to a steak dinner.  His answer rivaled that of Spiderman in that with great privilege comes great responsibility.

I continued to reflect on this while riding home with my fiance.  We stopped at +McDonald's for dinner and order plenty of food.  I quickly realized I had ordered way too much and the thought of those less fortunate came into mind.  Not even exclusive of those outside of our country but those that live in our own neighborhoods as well.  We are a nation of great lust of all kind.  One we particularly indulge in is that of Gluttony.  One of the seven deadly sins I learned about while growing up, Gluttony can easily be related to several of the other deadly sins, including that of sloth, lust and jealousy, each in their unique ways.  This falls into the sermon at the dedication about Sodom and Gomorrah and the lusts that took place at that time in that city.  We are quickly becoming a society based on hedonistic tendencies, moving simply to please our flesh and not feed any of our other needs, such as our emotions or intellect.

Juxtaposition between 1st world and 3rd world

We have an ever abundance of food it seems.  And yet, there are nutrition poor countries.  A big example that many potentially don't consider is Afghanistan.  Considering the soil in the country makes it difficult to support a great number of agriculture, wheat does well in the nation.  However, it takes an immense amount of wheat in order to make the money to support a family.  Poppy, though, grows just as easily and yields more revenue per acre for a family.  Poppy creates heroine, in turn creating the environment for drug lords to come in and dominant a society already run on the warlord system.  The country readily knows its people are starving while the government is concerned with its cash flow from the drugs flowing out of the country.  And yet, in overabundance, we do feast.

It seems a tall order to ask on Mother's Day and it may detract from what the day represents, but what better time to be concerned about other people in the world?  Including those who don't even have mothers to take them into their arms, to ease their pain, to feed their distended bellies or provide shelter so they might simply be children.  We take so much in our lives for granted and continuously forget those who have so much less than us.  While our country and waistlines grow, the populous of other countries may continue to shrink.  But does it not take all of us to create the world as we know it?  And if each life possess something of value, why is it that we do not do more to even help in our own backyard?  I am a strong supporter that you cannot begin to solve the world's problems if your own problems have not been resolved.  Reflect on this and consider what you may be able to do.

Protecting the Consumer

We have all encountered the situation.  You hear about an amazing offer for an establishment, be it a restaurant or other retail store.  You get the coupon for the offer.  You get to the store and collect all the items that you see meets the requirements.  But, when you get to the counter, you are told you completely misread the offer and that you actually have to pay twice as much as you thought.

It happened to me not too long ago.  I went to +Lane Bryant one day during an amazing sale.  If you have ever shopped at Lane Bryant, you know that their prices are kind of high.  I examined the flyer I received.  I scoured it.  I made sure I understood the offer.  So, I grabbed everything I needed and wanted and walked up to the counter.  I had a big smile on my face and greeted the cashier happily.  Never mind that it was the same girl who asked if I was transsexual (another consumer nightmare, I swear!), but I put that transgression in the back of my mind.  She finally said, "Now you know that only one of these items meets the sale criteria, right?"

I stood there, mouth open, "What do you mean?  There is nothing in the fine print on this flyer that says that Spanx isn't eligible or a new item?"

"I told you when you came in," she said.

I was livid, "I don't want any of it now.  You can keep it.  It's false advertising to not even have all the fine print on your flyer."

Ever experience this?  Well, today, my coworkers experienced something very similar.  One of my Team Leads had an offer for Domino's Pizza that supported her son's school.  It was, again, an excellent deal.  Two medium, two-topping pizzas for $5.99.  Again, we all read over the fine print and examined the lettering.  No issue found.  Imagine the surprise of my coworker when they called, only to be told that you have to pay $5.99 EACH!  And furthermore, upon trying to argue this point, the Assistant Manager of the establishment hangs up on you!  Then, when another coworker calls, he ends up in a screaming match with the Owner!

How far has customer service fallen?  Once the dust settled and calmer tones returned, the owner finally admitted that they were in the wrong but that they weren't going to honor the coupon.  What's more, they admitted that the entire town was turning against them.  The sad thing I see here is the fact that caught in the cross fire is an elementary school that was using this as a fundraising opportunity.

True, the Better Business Bureau is in place to protect exactly this.  And believe me, calls and complaints have been filed and made to both the BBB and the media, per reliable source.  I am also offering my blog tonight to this cause and the cause of any consumer that finds themselves in the bind of false advertising.  But be wary, as you can only use these resources if you do not remain complacent in your cause!  Complacency is a plague, affecting all our society and all ages.  If you feel you have been treated wrongly as a consumer, make sure to report it to your BBB for that to be assessed and follow-up on appropriately.  Until next time, have a great weekend.  My fiance and I will be going out of town the next two days in order to more appropriately celebrate Mother's Day.  I hope to be able to post, but alas, I make not promises.

Princes and Princesses of the World

Artist's digital graphic rendition of the Disney princesses
if they lived.

In my generation, there is said to be an illness that all girls acquired by watching Disney movies.  It's the Disney Princess Syndrome or something similar.  What is this about?  This is about how girls around my age grew up with movies where the main woman was always a princess and always rescued.  No real harm ever came to them, simply threatening.  Some say that this perceived reality that my counterparts and I would have makes it impossible for us to have real expectations for relationships.  And I will admit, I have been naive in my relationships in the past.

By the way, I firmly believe I am NOT one of these girls!

But there is one princess that no one thinks about much anymore.  It is a princess I thought about yesterday and who's story was filled with imagination, fantasy and wonder.  It's Sara Crewe of A Little Princess.  This movie is one I have enjoyed, although I admit I have yet to read the book.  My favorite rendition has to be the film that came out in 1995.  Let me describe a little bit about the story so if you are not familiar with it, you might have a better understanding.

The 1995 film begins in India in 1914 with Sara and her father.  Her father finds out he needs to go back home in order to go to war (WWI).  While he is away, he beings his daughter Sara to the same girls' school that her mother attended.  Sara quickly becomes the favorite of all teachers and students, bringing jealousy on her head from other students.  She brings serenity and peace to some students who don't behave well.  Finally, the Headmaster, Ms. Minchin, throws her a lavish birthday party for her at the request of her father.  It is during this time that she learns Sara's father is reported dead.  She ends the party, sends everyone to their rooms and banishes Sara to the attic to become a servant.

In the attic, she lives with Becky, portrayed in this movie as an African-American girl.  Sara had tried to be friendly with Becky previously, but the difference in position didn't allow it.  Together, they perform the daily chores.  Sara never loses her love to stories and telling them nor her most cherished belief: all girls are princesses.  The most beautiful scene I remember is when they are told that come the next day, they will not be allowed any food.  They imagine a feast before they go to bed.  In the morning, they wake to lavish silks, flowers, a table dressing and filled with food, clothing among a few things.

I won't tell you everything because 1) it's been so long, I don't remember everything and 2) I wouldn't want to ruin it for you in the event you do want to see it!  The key here for this purpose is the belief held by Sara: all girls are princesses.  But how is this relevant in this day and age?  I think there is plenty of room for such an ideology.  Now, before you go pulling my own creed on me about feminism, hear me out!  Princes and princesses in the days of old would have been taught lessons of honor, language, overall education.  They had manners and feared shaming their families.  True, the balance between men and women was even more vast than now.  But with me watching ads and television programs with foul language, idolizing fighting and poor manners, I can't help but wonder: if we raised princes and princesses in manners and etiquette...how different would our world be?

That's all I have for now.  I have to go make my grocery list for tomorrow. Remember, in the event I forget to remind you, that this weekend in Mother's Day.  Remember your mom this weekend.  Better yet, remember her always.  She went through a lot for you, to bring you into the world and to help you get through life.  She deserves more than a day.  She deserves constant and continuous respect.  Until next time, I hope you enjoy this thing called, "La Vie."