The (D)Evolution of Sex

Over the span of time, sex has evolved in its meaning, acceptance and description.  Sex in itself has a dual definition.  Not only does it define the act of mating and reproduction taken on by the majority of species (with the exception of asexual beings), it is also defined as the biological makeup and organs of an organism as one of the two major forms of individuals that occur in many species.  For all intensive purposes of this post, sex will be referring to the act of reproduction that commonly occurs within a species.  The second definition of sex is room enough for another post by itself.

In the beginning of time, sex and the act of mating in the human species is characterized by the act of a caveman hitting a woman over the head and dragging her back to his cave.  It was a more primal instinct.  While that still is within our being, the modernity has changed the acceptance of this practice to being void.  But when there were few people on the Earth, the reasoning behind sex was to populate the world.  The picture of the caveman could also be an explanation of expanding the gene pool, as well as an expression of power.

This expression of power did not become extinct with the evolution of the species.  On the contrary, it was adopted as a ready expression and method of warfare.  Along with this, pedophilia was adopted in early armies, especially found within the Greek armies.  I will not speak much on this as I would have to do extensive further research to have a better understand as to the reasoning behind.  But sex as an expression of warfare had primal reasons.  You breed them out.  This is why warfare is sometimes connected with the phrase "rape and pillage."  You steal their wealth and impregnate the women, the nation has in effect lost a piece of its identity.  What is more, the winners write history.  Whenever you read history or study history, consider that half of the story is not expressed from anyone's view but the victors and that there is always two sides.

There has been records during WW2 that when foreigners stepped foot on Japan, whole families were found to be dead in their homes.  Women were told that if invaded, they would be taken and raped, the ultimate disgrace against honor and the family.  As a result, they would kill themselves to avoid their bodies and bloodline being defiled.  War, rape, sex and self-protection has at some point in time been intertwined together.

To this day, there is a battle occurring with power and sex intermixed.  Rape is a prominent under belly of society.  And rape is nothing other than power.  There is nothing sexual influencing the "choice" to rape a woman (or a man, as they too can be raped).  Men can be raped.  It is still an act of power.  This is a major issue in society.  There are mixed signals expressed by society.  The media depicts women as objects, as something to be demeaned, taken advantage of and torn apart.  Then the act of rape is wrong.  Is it any wonder that there is possible ingrained confusion in our youth?  The popular media objectifies women and has lyrics glorifying the act of rape while the law reads that it is wrong.

Women at one time were nothing more than living, breathing property, to be bought, sold and traded.  To be treated as cattle, where the "rule of thumb" came into play on the steps of Town Hall.  Dowry was paid to husbands.  Women were expected to carry, bear and keep children and house.  They had no rights and no privileges in society.  While much of this role in society has changed, equal rights still do not exist.  In my blunt opinion, it will not exist until I can finally walk down a street in a seemingly safe neighborhood without fear for myself.  And yes, I have had that fear even while in college, on campus.

Sex is ever evolving.  The definition of what is acceptable within the sex world is constantly changing, including accepted acts with items, such as dolls (NatGeo "Taboo" had an episode based on the attraction to dolls, robots or inanimate objects).  But there is never excuse for rape.  My jeans may be tight and my dress may graze the top of my knee.  But that is no reason to say "She was asking for it."  Too many women have been subjected to this horrifying crime and will continue to be subjected until we change our societal perception and address the situation accordingly.  Instead of teaching how to avoid being raped, why not teach NOT to rape?

I believe I have gone on a sufficient rant for the day.  I must get ready for work but please keep in mind when read this that no deep research has gone into this posting.  This is just a collection of observations and studies and lectures over the years of education.  I hope you all enjoy this thing called "La Vie."

Birthday Wishes on Butterfly Wings

What has happened to me??  I know, I have been MIA for several days.  It has been a crazy few days, too!

My blooming tulips

Friday, we got my fiance's son for the weekend.  I got home around 7 and immediately went to making dinner and talking and entertaining the five year old.  He is very sweet but was a complete handful this weekend!  The most difficult ever!

Saturday, all three of us went to where my fiance graduated from high school with his sister and her two daughters.  All six of us were invincible, conquering arguments and hiking around a festival, saying "no" and "yes," backing each other up all the way.  We went to lunch shortly thereafter and then, visiting other family members.  We got back late that night and we all went straight to bed.

Cards and rhubarb tart!

Yesterday, Sunday, was my birthday!  Quarter of a century old, there was a packed day ahead of us.  Unbeknownst to us is exactly how long it would extend.  We took my fiance's son back by noon.  While there, my fiance took a tumble.  His ankle become swollen and he was in pain.  He bit his bottom lip, knowing my family was coming for dinner.  We drove back home (he drove) and he propped his foot up with ice while I did laundry.  My family came and brought strawberry-rhubarb pie (I LOVE rhubarb!  Try cooking with it, it is awesome!), presents and tons of well-wishes.

When we bid them adieu (much to our puppy's displeasure), Ryan admitted to me that he was in a lot of pain.  He asked to be taken to the Emergency Room.  What else was I to do but oblige?  I drove him to the hospital, helped him into the waiting room, where we awaited Triage and a bed.  His blood pressure was sky high as well as his pain tolerance.  When we finally got a bed, I helped to take his shoe off.

The doctor walked in.  He kind of stooped a little when he walked, had a beard and tired eyes.  He expressed he was already on his 6th cup of coffee and there since Friday.  Probably working a 72-hour, I told my fiance.  The doctor joked with us, trying to be good natured and make light of the situation.  Once my fiance got back from X-ray, he expressed that he was becoming annoyed by the jokes.  I also had been joking with him.  This launched us into a conversation about making light of the scenario.

I admire those men and women who work in a field such as medicine or law enforcement or any of the fields that are very serious and grave situations.  I can appreciate someone trying to have a sense of humor in the setting as well.  I love to joke when I am not feeling well.  I would rather bring smiles to a room and make myself feel better, than sit in silence while a busy room passes around me.  If I am not smiling in a situation like that, I feel as though everyone else is going at the speed of light and I am left behind.  I try and bring my fiance a smile every day, my family a smile every chance I can.  I try to smile every chance I can as well.

The butterfly

Friday night when I got home, I was welcomed with a kiss and two hugs, a bouquet of mixed-color tulips and a butterfly necklace.  Now, I stand in my kitchen and the tulips are blooming and perfuming the room.  My birthday wishes still linger in the air, the last bars from "Happy Birthday" echo in the apartment.  I saw my fiance off in his air cast and crutches, teaching him as much as I learned when I was on crutches a few years ago.  Sitting here now, enjoying some corn muffins and coffee before work, I reflect on the reasoning I was given the butterfly necklace by my fiance.

"It is said that when a dream is coming true, someone will see a butterfly crossing their path.  Well, honey, you are my dream come true."

Patience is a Virtue

Patience (n):

1. The capacity, habit or fact of being patient (bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint)

Patience is something that we as people have always struggled with.  This is exacerbated by the fact that our society is an instantaneous one.  We want what we want now.  The irony of the JG Wentworth commercial (It's my money, I need it now!).  You may think what is wrong with this mindset?  We work hard, why shouldn't we expect something in return?  And we should get that reward immediately!  Yet "Patience is a virtue," and "Good things come to those who wait" have echoed my childhood and follow me into adulthood, as well.

A couple of days ago, I happened to catch "Sex and the City" on TV.  It was one of the final episodes.  You know, the one right before the movie?  In this episode, Charlotte and her husband (Harry, I think?) are trying to adopt a baby.  They thought they would have a child from a couple in Charlotte, NC.  However, once the couple got to New York, they revealed they changed their mind.  At the end of the episode, Harry comes in the door and says that he has something from China too (Charlotte said she got Chinese).  "They are giving us a baby," he said.

Cast of Sex and the City

"How?" Charlotte replies, puzzled.

"I guess God remembered our address," Harry says, smiling.  He holds up a picture, "And here she is."

All throughout the beginning of this episode, this couple was agonizing over the lack of having a child to adopt.  It proves to be a difficult process to endure, leading them to almost give up hope.  But with patience, they were blessed with the adoption of the little girl from China.  

The most annoying thing I have heard is that things don't happen in our time, it happens in God's time.  It always frustrates me.  I can't see the plan, I don't know where He is leading me, how can I trust so blindly and have patience in something I don't even understand?  That is why it is a virtue (a conformity to a standard of right; morality).

I wish I had more patience.  I wish I had more understanding of waiting and why the reason to wait.  I wish I didn't stress as much or handled it in a better way.  There are a lot of things I wish I could better myself with.  But I can only work at one thing at a time.  What better time to start than today?

....Or tomorrow....tomorrow may be better.  Hey, I didn't say procrastination wasn't a problem either!

Spring Cleaning

All your necessities: spray bottle, soap, gloves, rope to tie
your husband up unless he buys you flowers.

Last night, when I got home from work, I found myself busying around the apartment.  My fiance was out talking with some neighbors and I had said hello.  But when I went inside to put my lunch down, I was pulled to begin cleaning more.  Monday night was scouring the shower and last night, to go through several boxes and piles of paper.  My birthday is fast approaching and holds the possibility of my family coming to see me on that day.  And see the apartment.  I want it to look as presentable as is possible.

After being called by my fiance and asked to come back outside and then talking to the neighbors until almost nine at night, we came in.  My fiance was kind enough to go through the boxes I had pulled out and made dinner.  I wrote a quick blurb last night (sorry about that!) and worked on a project for a coworker.  We went to bed with an amount of peace.

This morning, after my fiance has left for work, I am sitting on the couch, indulging in chocolate chip pancakes (courtesy of muffin mix recipe) and a cup of coffee.  I began to think about the idea of cleaning.  Growing up, I hated cleaning.  It took away from time outside, in front of the TV or in a good book.  Time away from walking to the library or visiting with friends.  As a result, my room was almost constantly a mess.  I argued that I function in organized chaos, that when everything was clean, I couldn't find anything.

When I moved to college, I found myself trying to tidy up.  The room would get to a point where I would have to give in and begin organizing and making sense of everything around me.  Cleaning the way I have been lately has given me time to reflect on the way my cleaning has evolved.  Perhaps my lack of cleaning, my disorganization, was an outward projection of the inward chaos I was experiencing.  During that time, I was not a happy person.  I was struggling to keep the smile on my face.  I dreaded facing those kids at school.  The names and the cutting me down.  I drowned myself in my studies and playing violin but even the violin stopped bringing me a lot of joy.

It was then that either I or Fate needed to start cleaning.  Cleaning my life, that is.  In middle school, Fate allowed me to change schools.  I was able to get away from the darkness that lingered in every doorway.  No one knew what those other kids said.  A fresh start.  But Fate wouldn't allow me to get away that easily. We moved near the end of my high school career and I was plunged into a personal darkness.  I don't think it was until almost halfway through college that I began to try cleaning my life.  I tried to eliminate the negative energy in my life and surround myself with positivity.  That's when I began to clean both inside and out.

Spring cleaning is something that happens every year.  We freshen the world and ready our houses for the upcoming warmer summer months, months of parties and celebrations, of cookouts and friends.  But we also must remember to freshen ourselves.  No, I don't mean taking a shower.  I mean an inward reflection of how our lives are.  Perhaps we have been putting off an adventure we want to take.  I, for example, hope to travel abroad again (of course, it will have to wait until after the wedding!).  Perhaps there is a hobby you have wanted to take up but haven't had the opportunity to as of yet.

When it comes to Spring Cleaning, there are many possibilities.  Open yourself to life as it is currently and what life can be if you allowed yourself to experience it.  Cleaning doesn't stop when you Spring Clean.  You have to maintain the cleanliness.  Of the home and yourself.  Meditate or try new focus methods.  Spot clean something every week.  Go through clutter on occasion to eliminate excess.  When we live in excess, we are excess.  When we live with necessity, we are necessary.  Until next time, enjoy a thing called, "La Vie."

Lull...

Lately, the muses don't seem to be striking my mind, fancy or brain for that matter.  I have fleeting moments of inspiration but nothing profound or that I can ramble on in a blog.  OK, it isn't entirely rambling but I am sometimes guilty!

This is the perfect opportunity for you, the reader, to give me some ideas!  Give me some feedback, some ideas, or some motivation.  This is your blog as much as it is mine.  I want to write on things you are interested in learning about or hearing about.  Hopefully, my muse will strike me for a composure tomorrow morning!

Les Larmes et Les Pétales

Paul Eluard, poet.

As some of my readers may know, but many of you probably don't, I studied French and International Relations in college.  I found the political science aspect of this degree fascinating, but the language component entranced me, as it always has.  I have fallen in love with language over all the years I have studied.  In my final year at school, I submitted and was accepted to present research in a school-wide abstract competition called SOURCE (Symposium on University Research and Creative Expression).  My abstract was in conjunction to the differences in languages and how meaning can be lost in translation.  My study focused, more specifically, on the poetry and English translations of Paul Eluard.  I loved his poem "La terre est bleue comme une orange" (The Earth is blue like an orange) specifically for the title.  How can someone say such a statement?  It doesn't make sense.

Well, in short, I won the competition in my category.  I really enjoyed that research.  Perhaps I will expand on it if I ever attend graduate school.  The reason I bring this up?  Since school, I subscribe to a thrice-weekly blog written by an American woman who is married to a Frenchman and lives in France.  She uses this blog as a means to define and grow vocabulary for anyone who is interested in learning French or expanding on their French.  On Friday, I got one of my mailing from this blog.  And the phrase which used the vocabulary of the day hit close to home.

"Les larmes sont les pétales du coeur." --Paul Eluard

"Tears are the petals of the heart."  Or, more plainly, Tears are the heart's petals.  But what can it mean?  What is behind the phrase?  If you think about what petals are, they are the decorative expression of the flower.  So it can be congruent to the tears being the outward expression of an inward pain, love, desire or other emotions.  As well as considering the meaning of the the language itself and the deeper meaning, what emotion may be lost in the translation?  In French, there seems to be lilt, a pattern to the language.  It is similar to the idea that when you translate a poem that is originally in a foreign language to your mother tongue.  You lose the rhyme and rhythm that was put into that poem for a reason, a purpose.  If any of you have ever studied poetry, you know everything is deliberately put or not put in the words.  The symbolism, the rhyming pattern, the language used, the lack or presence of punctuation.

The next time you pick up a piece of literature, I invite you to read about the author.  I was taught in school to learn about the author because that way, you can learn what the author may have want to achieve or why they wrote this piece of work.  You can also discover if it may have been transliterated for ease of reading and review.  At that point, you consider what may have been lost.

Until next time, I bid you adieu.  I am sure not many of you missed me over the weekend but it was hectic and hairy!  Now, I move forward, propelling ever more subtly to the goal, into the night.  And remember..."Do not go gently into that good night."

The Importance of Family

Me and my mom and sisters.

I was very fortunate to grow up in a family that has been nothing but supportive.  My mom and dad have both encouraged me to reach for the stars.  My sisters, both younger, challenge me and tease me.  True, we may annoy each other, but we know we can always turn to one another it we needed it.  Growing up, divorce was a foreign word and separation was something done at school, not between parents.  Affairs were entertained at dinner or in a political atmosphere and adultery was one of the Ten Commandments.

It wasn't until I began to attend public school that the beauty of my world yielded to the truth beyond the pavement.  Beyond the roads I traveled on my bicycle or the neighborhood my sisters and I wandered, looking for someone to play with.  Up unto that point, I would agree if you called me naive.  I knew there was more outside of my front door because of how I was not allowed to listen to certain music or watch certain television channels.  But image my shock when people would ask me if my parents are divorced (my mom kept her maiden name).  What was this, this divorce?

Yesterday, at work, a coworker of mine stopped me to discuss a project he had asked me to help him with. We discussed the design I was constructing and then he told me he was going to have his team (he is a coach), at the award banquet, present awards of appreciation to their parents as well.  He described how the certificate would look as we walked.  I told him I believed it to be a great idea on his part and even better that the kids will get to take an active part in the process (signing their name, presenting it to their parents).  He then told me something that struck me.  "As a coach, I am teaching more than soccer.  I am teaching life.  And with this, I want to teach them appreciation for their parents and explain why we are doing this."

I followed it with the best thing I could consider, "That is a great idea.  It is sad that they will soon forget to appreciate their parents and then come back after the teens years to realize how right their parents are."

Patrick Henry Hughes and his father.

I recently saw a video, the story of which I am familiar, that shows images of a disabled son who participates in a marching band.  Though bound to a wheelchair, his father marches him around the field, learning the drill and the formations, while his son plays the trumpet.  I know parents would do anything to guarantee their children a better quality of life than was before.  The strength and courage parents have to bear for their children is moving.  I am truly in awe.

I can only hope that, come the day I become a parent, that I deserve that honor, that my patience become long and my anger short.  That I can be like my mom and my dad.  Caring, loving, compassionate, protective.  I take notes and lessons every time I am surrounded by my family.  I learn from my sisters, as well.  I love my family deeply, both my nuclear and my extended family, those I am close to and those I wish I could see more.  I have a lot to learn from "La Vie."

The Salt and the Light

While on my way to work one day this week, I heard this song by Rhett Walker Band come on the radio.  Now, I have never been a big one for Christian music.  My family never really listened to it at home and I tried to avoid it outside of the home.  The only time I really had to listen to it was because I went to Oneighty with a friend of mine in middle school.  It was a setting where kids in the community could go to have fun and then hear an "obligatory word of God" for the last hour of the night.  On Fridays, they had 5th Quarter, where students can come after football games and hang out.

I respected everyone's views being different but the struggle came from my views not being respected.  Again, I was raised Catholic.  Catholicism has always been something that, when I bring it up, it is frowned upon.  Mind you, my fiance's different background was frowned upon when we spoke with a priest as well.

Over the last few days, both the words of this song and an experience at World Youth Day in Canada has caused me to think.  The lyrics of the song strongly reflect feelings I have experienced for a long time in my life.  That of pride, of knowing what is best in my life:

                                       V1: I'm torn between myself and your truth

These cursed memories, forever seeping through

My thirst for myself left me wanting more

Till I found myself face down on your shore

Chorus

V2: My restless heart, led me astray

To my selfish pride I became my own slave

But you placed a thirst in me with no drink in sight

'Cause I could not see till I saw through your eyes

These lyrics paint the experience, the path I walked down for many years.  The confusion I faced and tried to overcome, the feeling of being lost and alone.  This song, the chorus (which is not included in the above lyrics), is trying to illustrate the meaninglessness of worrying, to lay burdens down and trust all will be well.  Won't my fiance be happy to read this, as it is something he has been preaching to me for the entirety of our relationship?

I mentioned World Youth Day.  This is an event for the Catholic youth.  Youth from all over the world come to a selected city and celebrate Mass together, make friends together, share experiences together and live together.  I remember myself and a friend of mine were suppose to be too young to attend, but we were given special permission by our parish priest.  What a week it was!  We slept in a school, with groups from 

Trinidad across from the girls room I was in.  We shared meals together with other groups from all over the nation and world.  The last night we were there, we were sleeping outside in anticipation of hearing the then Pope John Paul II speak and hold mass the net day.  We slept in boxes, talked with our peers and walked around.  The next morning, it was rainy, the boxes disintegrating under the weight of the water.  Suddenly, it stopped when the Pope came to the stage/altar.

The message of this trip was Matthew 5:13-14, "You are the salt of the earth....you are the light of the world."  I remember hearing animated stories about this and what it means.  I remember attending a Mass where the priest said, "A radical Christian is a salty Christian!"  The verses, in their entirety (Matthew 5: 13-16) are this:

¹³ “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.

¹⁴ “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵ Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. ¹⁶ In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

We carry the weight of our faiths on our shoulders.  We alone as responsible for it thriving and growing.  We have to provide the flavor of the world and the light all around.  Even if not in solely a religious ideology, we should be a light, a beacon to those who need help, support and love.  Perhaps you have needed that in the past and felt yourself gravitate to someone who was a stranger to you.  Perhaps you found yourself telling a stranger your life story, not really knowing what prompted you.  And perhaps, because of this serendipity, you felt all the better.

Yes, I have had incidences and experiences in my life that are far from favorable.  But I also have points in time that I should celebrate.  I have experienced now that should be celebrated.  I know I need to stop fretting and worrying, stressing and carrying things I have no control over.  Maybe you need to reflect this as well.  Remember, a thing called, "La Vie" comes and passes so quickly that it can be gone in a blink of an eye.  Try to not let it pass without enjoying it.

What's Your Problem?

In several of my past posts, I have mentioned about how I was teased or how I care what people think so much.  You may have been wanting hear more of that story.  Part of this need for acceptance is that I am a People-pleaser.  I want to make people happy, either by making them laugh or the work that I do.  Because of this, I seek verification from those around me.

In 6th grade, I changed from a private, Catholic school to a public middle school.  I was so excited, I could finally wear what I wanted to wear!  No more jumpers or blouses or button down shirts in either yellow or white, the emblem of the school embroidered on the shoulder.  I never knew I would come to miss those days so much.  I had some trouble in the 5th grade.  I was ostracized from the rest of my classmates, estranged.  I thought that changing schools would change the problem...

Growing up, I liked wearing baggy clothes.  Looking back, I think this might stem from the idea that I was not ready to embrace my budding body or the idea that I was becoming a woman.  I also really liked playing sports with anyone, man or woman.  This got me into trouble and the teasing commenced.  My sexuality was called into question and teased.  Later, I would receive fake "Secret Admirer" notes, penned by the popular kids, in order to witness my embarrassment.  I had friends actually get suspended, trying to defend my character.  I had teachers trying to help, but no matter what they or anyone said, it never stopped.

I remember coming home, feeling as though my world was falling apart.  My friends I had from the beginning of public school suddenly started to abandon me.  They shared the rumors that were going around, saying I wasn't good for their image.  In 8th grade, the most gross of all the accusations happened.  I won't go into it because I am so saddened by how someone's hate can twist my words so drastically.  I would come home, crying.  My cat, Tiger (now 16 years old), was my only comfort.  My violin brought me a little bit of happiness in the world.  My family tried to comfort me.  But I felt so hurt.

I was lucky.  The districts were re-zoned and I did not have to go to school with those kids again.  I started a new school and found a new place in marching band.  My family moved near the end of my Junior year and I started anew again.  I was ready to go to college.

My mom is one of the amazing women who, while in college, would send me care packages or little notes of encouragement.  I still have the clipping she gave me from one of the notes.  It hung in my dorm room year after year.  It was a clipping from a news paper and it read, "What's your problem?"  I remember the card with it, my mom's handwriting bringing back so many thoughts and memories. She encouraged me to remember that the only reason anyone has a problem with me was because they have a problem with themselves.  On the clipping she wrote, "It's catching on!"  It was the mantra she gave me before I went to school and the mantra I try to maintain to this day.

My mom posted the picture at the top on Facebook and tagged me in it.  It made me think about these times and how much my family and faithful friends have helped me and pulled me through the dark time.  But the words are true.  How can you be free without being you?  And who defines who you are but yourself, barring any input from the outside world?

Thank you, Mom, for always reminding me that there is no other more powerful person than that of myself.  I love you very much.  Just know that my complaint department is still open!  Give Tiger and all the family and hug and a kiss from me.  And "just keep swimming."

The Power to Change

If you have any intimate knowledge of me as a person, you know my weight is something I have struggled with for a great part of my life.  I have a low self-esteem.  I like to think I hide it well, with the exception of being around those who make me feel comfortable.  But it comes out.  At work, it comes out in a lack of confidence in my job.  I annoy my fiance by saying, "I am going to be fired!  I am not good at my job."  At home, it comes out by hating each piece of food I put in my mouth.

I have said before that if I had the "strength," I would be anorexic.  I thank God that I do not have the strength nor the desperation to fall into any eating disorder such as Anorexia or Bulimia.  But I have read the Thinspiration blogs.  I have made myself eat less to try and not binge later.  My relationship with food is poor, at best.  I will feel bad about myself, talking to my fiance about how I need to lose weight.  Yet, as soon as I get home, I get something to eat.  I hate every bite I have but I can't stop.

I have come to realize that I am addicted to food.  Like any addict, this is my coping mechanism.  I realized this several years ago.  My last two years in college, I had done a complete 180.  I had lost about 50 lbs.  I was working out, counting calories and trying so hard to improve myself.  This makes me feel almost worse about going back to where I was.  After I lost that weight, I found a plateau.  My mom was being supportive and being such, she asked me why I didn't think I could go farther.  My fiance just recently asked me the same thing.  What I said shocked them, I think: "I am afraid to be skinny because what if that isn't good enough for me?"

At my job, I work on a smoking cessation chat project.  I help people stop smoking by giving advice, letting them vent or simply letting them talk out and find the answers to questions.  We all have the tools to best whatever addiction we face.  The photo at the top is something I use for smoking addiction.  I have been meaning to make this list and finally, I have.  The list is this:

I DON'T NEED FOOD!

What I brought is enough.

My wedding day is enough.

My future children are enough.

My next birthday is enough.

My fiance is enough.

I have had enough!

You have the power to change your life.

YOU & no one else!

I have made these affirmations a bookmark.  More importantly, it is sitting in a book my middle sister gave me to read a few months ago (The Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown).  This for me is necessary.  How can I be an example for my future children or my future stepson if I cannot even love who I see in the mirror?  How can I preach self-esteem when it is a battle I fight every day and night?  How can I fully love my future husband if I struggle to find something in myself to love?

No more!  At some point, in every addict's life, you have to tell yourself it is enough.  The addiction, whether illicit or mundane, is not worth losing a quality of life.  I may fear what will happen from break this, but I fear more what will happen if I do not.  I want to turn "I am afraid" into "Yes, I can" into "Yes I did it!!"  

Is there something in your life you want to change?  It doesn't have to be an addiction but maybe you want to start a hobby or learn something new.  Maybe you want to go back to school or improve yourself.  The only thing stopping you is you.  Make a motivation list, a list of reasons and a list of goals.  Then, make a plan.  We can change what we don't like or better ourselves if we want.  It is all a matter of Self.

Running and Chasing Shadows

When I was a child, I remember playing a game with my shadows.  I would either try to avoid stepping on my shadow or try hiding in my shadow.  I would run from my shadow and try to catch my shadow.  I would stand in my Mom or Dad's shadows.  I was amazed by shadows, how they changed, how they moved with me.  Peter Pan fell into line, when he lost his shadow.  I remember watching the sun change and the shadows grow longer, my shadow riding beside me on its shadow bicycle.  Those are the shadows I played with.

But there are shadows in life that we all have that we do not want to confront.  These are the shadows we either run from or chase away.  They could be things we have seen, experienced or fought from the past.  Unfortunately, as they have helped shape who we are as people, we carry them into the present and will carry them into the future.  How do we face these things?

I have many shadows in my past that I wish I could erase.  I regret things I passed up in life and I regret choices I have made.  I know we aren't suppose to regret life (it's true, life is way too short!), but believe me, it is difficult to overlook.  I can't ignore the bad relationships I have been in.  They helped me realize what it means to be in a good relationship.  I can't ignore the opportunities I have passed up in my life because it reinforces that you have to take chances.  So how do I face these things in the past without letting it ruin my future?

Being open.

Too commonly, we hide in our shadows or simply, hide our shadows.  But hiding the shadows or hiding in them does not give us consolation.  It exacerbates the problem.  If we live in a dark place in life, how can we love how far we have come?  I face my shadows through my relationship.  My fiance has been monumental in helping me come to terms with what I have faced in my past.  The abuse, the self-esteem problems I have developed.  One of the biggest shadows, my shadow Boogieman, if you will, is that I have had peers tell me I would be better off to kill myself.

I have been teased, taunted and tortured.  But with the help of my family and friends, my fiance and through this blog, I am able to face my shadows and be open with what I have experienced.  What is your outlet?  Do you vent when you feel a shadow pulling you into its darkness?  You have to consider that these shadows are like living Depression, following you around.  It can catch your ankles and pull you into its overcast, not leaving any desire to play in the shadows as you did as a child.  But if we can take command of the shadows, we can better explore them when we have to be pulled into them.

As seen below, nothing is ever as it appears.  What may appear one way in the daylight is something completely different in moonlight.  But sometimes, moonlight is the only way to face what we don't want to face.  Moonlight casts a light on things that we can't deny.  Be it by moonlight or daylight, sunlight or rooted in darkness, don't run from your shadows.  Ask to take someone's hand and jump into them.  Only then can they cease having power over us.

Increasing your Vision: A Growth of Self

What is your eyesight like?  Do you have to wear glasses?  What about contact lenses?  Do you ever struggle to see at night or when walking into the bright daylight from a dimly lit corridor?  Are you reflecting on your sight or vision?

When I looked "Vision" up in the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, several types of definitions came up. Interestingly enough, the first two definitions do not relate at all to the sense.  They define to vision as, "something seen in a dream, trance or ecstasy," or, "the act or power of imagination."  So not only is vision related to the sense of sight, but also can be something that is not really there but imagined.

Today, in church, our pastor began to speak about this very topic (thus why I am writing about it now).  The sermon was entitled, "How is your vision?"  The overall point of his sermon was that you cannot reach a point in life without knowing where that point falls.  The next question may be how is that point determined?  I guess that depends entirely on how your Vision is.

In other words, you have to set your goals of growth in life, because no one will do it for you.  And once you achieve the first goals, you must set yourself higher goals.  Without somewhere to go in life, how can we propel forward?  Take, for example, a student who is graduating high school.  Perhaps they have set a goal to complete college.  In college, there are several sub-goals: passing courses, tests, the long nights of studying.  On that day when they walk across the stage, that goal is achieved.  They now have to decide what their next goal is.

Perhaps they will decide that they have had enough school and they want to go into the workplace.  Perhaps they want to further their education and go onto a Master's program.  We cannot move forward in life without knowing where we have come from and, more importantly, where we are going.  Certainly, sometimes we struggle to determine what path we should go down.  Especially in our youth, that is to be expected.  It is a part of learning what our Vision is.

Like everything in life, Vision of life, growth and future is something that is ever changing and ever evolving.  Today, my Vision for my life is much different from when I was in, say, 3rd grade!  Especially when, in 3rd grade, I was planning on becoming a nun.  But that is the beauty of childhood and having supportive adults to surround those children.  Children, you see, have very blurry Vision.  They daydream and change constantly what they "want to be when they grow up."  The beauty of this is they are free to explore the possibilities while the adults can help wrangle those energies in.

We all play a crucial part in one another's Visions.  We must all support one another because we cannot reach our Visions by ourselves.  Many pitfalls befall across our paths.  However, with Faith and the people around us supporting who we are and where we are going, we can never fall short of our goals or our Visions.  Afterall, we set our Visions and goals, but we all need help to achieve them.

Betrayed by the Senses

My mom posted this on her Facebook and tagged my baby sister in it.  It is so true that we often coordinate sounds, smells or touch with specific feelings.  I recall a radio commercial for a soda (Sierra Mist Natural) that goes like this.  An announcer comes over the air waves and begins discussing about how your ears can deceive you.  You hear a can open and she says something like, "This is the refreshing sound of Sierra Mist Natural, a soda with no artificial flavors and sugar."  You hear another can open and the announcer asks you if it sounds the same.  She then goes on to say that it isn't, that it is a soda with artificial flavorings and sweetners.

Consider when you touch something how you commonly associate it with soft, hard, prickly, sharp or whatever other texture may commonly come to mind.  If you were to touch something blindfolded, do you think you could directly tell what exactly it is?  Or would you only really be able to tell what the texture is?  For example, could you tell a stuffed animal from animal fur?  Or would they both be soft?

The five senses

Sounds is another amazing thing.  How often do we hear things that make us think of other associations we have with that sounds.  Such as in the post above, maybe you hear a pan frying and you may immediately think it is bacon cooking.  You may hear a voice and not be able to tell who it belongs to.

My favorite sense has to be taste/smell.  I love how I can discuss something, such as grapes, and suddenly, it seems as though I am tasting the grapes at that very moment.  Senses are such a wonderful thing, even if they can be deceiving at times.  My sister at one point in time asked an interesting questions to myself and our baby sister.  She asked, "If you had to lose either your sense of hearing or your sense of sight, which would you choose?"

To her surprise, my sister and I both chose to lose our sense of sight.  She said it was dumb, that if you lose that, you can't see anything.  But my baby sister and I are very musically inclined.  We both said the same thing: we couldn't imagine a world without sound, without music, without the voices of our loved ones.  She responded that there are surgeries that can bring the hearing back.  There are those that can bring sight back too, we countered.  What would you do?  Would you rather live in a World of Darkness or a World of Silence?

Well, I am logging off of this until tomorrow.  There is a man sitting in the chair next to mine and a little boy playing in his room.  I have worked a full week and it is time to relax.  I will enjoy the sense I have and celebrate them every day.  I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and embrace the week as it comes, good, bad, ugly or otherwise.  Remember that today is the only one you with have.  Enjoy "La Vie" as it comes.

Wired In and Tapped Out

I am so very lucky and fortunate.  I have finished a week of work and had a productive day.  I come home to find my fiance talking with a neighbor while his son is playing on the jungle gym and with his scooter.  I got to have a great, little helper to wash dishes and make dinner (he is such a great little sous chef!).

We live in such a digital age.  In my job, I work at an operations center, in effect as a Customer Service Representative in a call center.  I really do enjoy my job.  I get to learn so much and help people solve their problems.  Our world is completely wired: computers, call trackers, IP phones.  Imagine our surprise when we come across people who do not have access or know how to use a computer.

Today, I overheard my coworker who is in the desk next to mine speak with a customer who was trying to submit an application.  She kept muting her phone and discussing how she can't help him if he doesn't even know how to use email.  Another woman in our pod turned to me, asking how someone could not know how to use email.  I told her maybe they are a mom-and-pop shop that operates by word of mouth, who would find no real return from Internet exposure.

It really causes one to think about how we work in our world.  When was the last time you unplugged from the Internet for a complete weekend?  I know I can't remember the last time.  I hope that I will during my honeymoon!  But seriously, consider the life you have had since now and watch the younger generations.  I can't believe how many kids have smart phones...and they aren't even driving!  I was not even allowed to have a phone, period, until I could drive!  Computers were family matters until college and they were kept in very public areas, so parents could monitor everything their child was accessing.  Now, you see kids who know how to operate tablets, computers and other electronic devices at a younger and younger age.

And what are we losing in this great evolution of thought?  We are losing our connection as people.  I remember watching the movie Crash and a quote really sunk in:
Graham: It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.

Think about it.  We don't connect like we had to in the past.  We know we live parallel to one another, but we don't live with each other.  We know there are others in the world, but how much do we actually know about them?  We cut ourselves off from the world, but then we complain about not having connections, contact, friends or other sources of comfort.  How can we change this?

I really think a step in the right direct is the Pay It Forward movement that has taken off this year.  Doing nice things for strangers reminds those people that there are other people who want to connect.  It then gives them incentive to pass that good feeling along.  Why not try paying it forward?  You don't have to buy anything, necessarily.  Just perform a nice gesture.  Call on those manners that our parents gave us.  Hold doors open for other people or compliment someone who looks nice.  We can all do a little bit to make our world a little better.

Cool, Spring Air

Wednesday nights, I always work nights.  Sometimes, it's a drag.  Sometimes it is a welcomed break as I can sleep in just a bit.  Last night, it was a pleasure.

When I finally got to walk outside of the building I work in, I immediately felt the rush of cool air and wind hit my skin.  I felt like I was in a dream.  I wanted nothing more than to lie in an open field, allowing the winds to swirl around me, to be carried about by the sounds of crickets and to be gazed upon by the stars.  To just let the world pass as though I had no where to be.  I dreading walking back indoors, knowing that come the next morning, the heat would begin to rise.  An Indian Summer is upon us.

While the temperature can't decide where to settle yet, the wedding plans need to take off!  We are 6 months out from our date of October 5th, 2013!  I am so very excited to be embarking on this journey but what a stressful journey it can be!  I am so thankful to have to people around me such as my fiance, our familys and our friends.  We have so much support through this process.

Nothing too deep to writing today.  It is the end of the day and I am settling in for the evening.  Perhaps I need to start waking up early in order to write more to my leisure.  Perhaps my times will continue to be sporadic in posting.  But I will never be lack of things to say.

Go outside in the cool, evening air.  Breath deeply.  Enjoy the world around you.  Enjoy "La Vie."

The Dance of Courtship

Ah, courtship!  The dance of Love, passion and future.  I have often said to my peers that by large, the human species is the only one in which the women attracted the men.  Mind you, this doesn't mean that women do all the work, but they are the ones who primarily cause the attraction.  When I thought about this topic for today, I decided to look the information up, become better informed.  To my surprise, there are more species that have an evenness of roles in attraction across the Animal Kingdom.


Too often, we associate male birds, fish and other animals with putting on shows and brightly colored displays to attract a mate.  In the article I read this morning ("In the Animal Kingdom, a New Look at Female Beauty," The New York Times),  there are examples of animals in which the male does display colors or striking marks, but the female returns this display.  The brighter the females' markings, the more desirable the mate.  The first example of this is the Goby fish, in which the males approach a female and show off blue spots on their fins.  If the female is interested, it will back-flip, displaying the bright yellow spots on its belly.  The brighter the spots, the better the chance of courtship.

This was cause for pause.  Was it reflected in our society?  It seems that our first line of courtship is the colorful plumes of our females, the hair, make-up, clothing and everything else that goes into primping.  We parade in front of our male counterparts, hoping someone will approach us and talk to us.  We smile, play with our hair, make eye contact and flirtatiously look away.  But it isn't all one way.

Men, I am sure, primp extensively when they are out looking for the courtship of their life.  So while they are showing their colorful plumes, surely they are nervous about looking at ours.  While attractiveness is a crucial point of coming together as a couple, there are so many factors that cannot be accurately calculated by science.  As a higher level of society, we do not court simply for the need of impregnating and leaving.  We have, as far as I am able to tell, evolved beyond that point.  We have become a society of monogamy and feel the need to court, not only those who stimulate the loins, but who stimulate our intellect, our interests and our need for companionship.

To those women who are experiencing difficulty finding that man who want to court them or they keep meeting the "wrong" men, I was there.  I met too many of the wrong guys and constantly thought that was all I could have.  I was told in high school that I was a girl guys would marry, but would never date.  I am dead serious!  I was so confused.  How could you marry me but not date me?

Fast forward to today.  After years of online dating and months upon months of wasted relationships, of tearing myself down, convincing myself I don't deserve better, I found my companion.  But it took time.  I am lucky enough to find someone who embraces my intellect and my perspective of the world, who also supports me in all that I do.  This will happen for you too.  You have to consider that our society has been flooded with media images of the desirable girl.  But those girls don't last.  I finally understand what that boy in high school meant by what he said.  I am not someone for a few dates.  I am someone to settle down with.  And I am so happy I have found the man I will settle down with.

Don't give up on love.  Love will come when you least expect it.  When you don't see it, it might just be like a flower covered in snow.  Give it time, culture your garden and suddenly, it will bloom.  Until then, indulge in yourself, ladies and gents.  The more you know about yourself, the better you can present yourself and the stronger your relationships.  For now, enjoy a thing called, "La Vie."

Slow to Anger, Quick to Forgive

We all get mad at other people, right?  We all get angry with ourselves and each other.  That is just human nature.  I think the thing we all forget is how to deal with this anger and, if nothing else, how to argue.  That's right, there are different argument styles.

No one wants to argue.  OK, I admit there are people in the world who seem to take great pleasure in antagonising others.  But typically, no one enjoys arguing.  I am such a push-over when it comes to arguments.  I can't stand it when someone is mad at me.  Plus, arguing makes me feel bad both mentally and emotionally.  Who wants to feel that way?

For the longest time, I thought that if you argue in a relationship, the relationship is over.  I would appease the person I was seeing in order to prevent an argument.  Meanwhile, my happiness was draining from my body.  I have no joy in life.  I didn't even feel like I had the privilege of asking to do something I wanted to do.  I was scared.  Scared to have an opinion or, at least, a different one.

Fortunately, I am not lack of opinion in my current relationship.  We may butt heads, but it so nice to be able to disagree and come to accept that in one another.  Our arguments don't last long (like I said, I hate to fight!) and when we do argue, I try to argue the best way possible.

The difference?  When a lot of people argue, they blame.  YOU did this and YOU did that and it's YOUR fault.  In those short phrases, you have quickly taken all of the heat off of yourself and placed it upon someone else.  I read recently that no one can "make" you mad.  Only you can do that.  So, if this is the pattern of thought we follow, how can someone else be to blame?

Instead, try "I" statements.  This is what I try to do in an argument, no matter who I disagree with.  "I feel" or "I think" even "I want."  By using "I", you are establishing partial fault.  Ever hear that lovely phrase, "When you point at someone, three fingers are pointing back at you?"  This is especially true in arguing.  We can throw "yous" all over the place!  But where does it get any of us?  Certainly not to resolution!

This applies even in a heated conversation.  Last night, my fiancé and I were talking about an article and we were on opposite sides of the fence.  I admit, I was wrong in my approach several times.  I used "you" when I was trying to find out more information about my fiancé's feelings on the subject.  Instead of saying, "Why do you feel like that?" (seems harmless, I know), I probably should have said, "I would like to know how you come to that conclusion."  It doesn't come across as accusatory or offensive.  Mind you, I don't think I raised my voice (I hope not), but sometimes the tone doesn't matter.  Our words are weapons that often times, we don't use correctly and wield too quickly.  But once a word is uttered, it is there.  Never to be revoked.

Within five minutes of this conversation, I was hugging my fiancé, reconciling with him.  I tell him I am the best person to argue with because I never want to stay mad.  I am too affectionate of a person.  But you have to discover what works for you.  Maybe you need to walk away and leave the issue alone.  Sometimes, I need to do that.  Sometimes you may need to go to bed angry.  You would be amazed how differently the situation looks in the morning.  But try always to be slow to anger and quick to forgive.  Remember that burned bridges take years to rebuild.  That is time better spent celebrating together.

For my fiancé, if you are reading this tonight, or any night, I am sorry for our argument.  I don't ever wish to live in a place of anger or malcontents with you.  I was wrong in my approach.  I love you with my heart and my being.  Remember that whatever we encounter, I will be the first to embrace you.

Forever a Journey

A path we walk can either be well-lit or need a latern.

I had such an enjoyable weekend!  Making friends is not left to just little kids.  My fiancé and I had invited a couple over who has a little boy not much younger than my soon-to-be stepson.  Kind of cool to say...stepson!  Anyways, we had a blast talking and laughing at our little boys interacting.  My cheeks thoroughly ached from all the fits of laughter I flew into.  Afterall, what is better than the sound of laughter?

I am so very glad I started this blog.  It is so renewing for me.  I get to explore the world as I see it, not restricted or censored in any manner.  My fiancé has told me he admires the way I write.  This past week, he commented that with the way I write, I should write a book.

"But I don't know what I would write about," I exclaimed.

"Write what you are writing now.  Make a collection and call it, 'Inspirations,'" he encouraged.

This made me think.  Dangerous thing, I know. What I have come to realize is this: I love writing.  I always have loved writing.  I use to write practice essays when home from school on made up topics.  I also use to make up my own math problems.  That is another issue entirely.

I meditated on this for a long time.  What would I write?  What did I have to say?  Would anyone want to read it?  I decided what I suppose a lot of writers ultimately decide.  If I am going to write anything, I should write something I would read or what I enjoy reading.  My whole purpose behind this blog is to communicate my experiences and what I have gone through.  To express myself and my point of view.  There has been two aspects in my life that have been crucial in building my point of view and my world: books and music.

How can I merge this with my writing?  Do they even merge?  I had thought about taking selected pieces of my blog out and elaborating on it.  Then it came to me.  I can present different pieces of music I love, different quotes from plays, movies, the Bible or poetry and connect it to a life experience to indulge upon.  I already began writing a list.  A lot of them come from my years in the Lenoir-Rhyne A Cappella Choir.

When I say "Forever a Journey," I do mean forever.  My journey with my fiancé who will become my husband in October.  My journey with my family, his family and, someday, our family.  My journey with my friends.  My journey with my career and my life choices, both those in the past, present and future.  Always remembering that what we do and have done does not define who we are.  It only helps make us who we can be.

A Mass Departure into a New Beginning

Exodus, n.-

1 capitalized: The mainly narrative second book of canonical Jewish and Christian Scripture
2: A mass departure: emigration

Parting of the Red Sea, as depicted in Prince of Egypt.

One of my favorite books in the Bible is Exodus.  The first definition lays reason for this, as it is almost purely narrative telling of the Jews plight in Egypt and how Moses was able to lead them out to the Promise Land.  As a younger child, I was entranced by the idea of the hardships these people encountered, as well as the might of God as he helped Moses guide them from Egypt.  It is a fascination that has been with my my entire life as I have constantly loved reading and researching about the ancient Egyptians.  I thoroughly enjoyed the fact that in modern times, Prince of Egypt was released, a cartoon rendition of the story from Exodus.  The songs are haunting and beautiful.  If you have not seen this, I strongly recommend the movie.

Why am I writing about this, you may be asking.  Last Sunday, on Easter, the assistance pastor of the church my fiance and I attend spoke on how when the Hebrews went into the desert, fleeing from the Land of Egypt, they began to complain that they would be much happier for the leeks and garlic of Egypt.  I have been pondering this sermon for the whole of the week.  I decided to seek out the verse myself and found this:

2 Here in the desert the whole Israelite community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. 3 The Israelites said to them, "Would that we had died at the LORD's hand in the land of Egypt, as we sat by our fleshpots and ate our fill of bread! But you had to lead us into this desert to make the whole community die of famine!"

Exodus 16: 2-4,  New American Bible,  Catholic Word Press

A "fleshpot" as defined by bible-history.com is taken to mean "One of the six kinds of cooking utensils spoken of as pots or pans or cauldrons or basins. Probably usually made of bronze or earthenware."  You may be thinking about this and, knowing what Moses had gone through to allow their freedom and the scourges that were prevented from falling on their heads (mainly the Plagues), why on Earth would these people grumble to such extent?

This was the base of the sermon on Easter and how the Lord will provide.  But how can someone not help but grumble and complain when they are so uncertain of their future?  Consider this: In Egypt, the Israelites knew hour by hour, day by day what would happen.  Once they left that world, they did not know what would become of them.  This, for anyone, is a scary situation to be in!  They have been taken from their beds, their pots, packing unleavened bread, and leaving all that they knew for all that they didn't.

In the sermon, there was also reference to how, while Moses was on the mountain, receiving the Ten Commandments, how a golden calf was constructed.  The assistance pastor commented that this was because this is all that the Israelites recognized as god.  They were associating what they had learned from Egypt and creating what they considered would be God to worship.  In truth, we know why Moses had come down from the mountain and, seeing this, became angered.  However, it can no more be attributed to their lack of knowledge as to who God really is.

Up until this time, man would see a miracle and make that miracle a god.  These gods ranges from the elements to animals to other human beings.  If we do not know who God is or what He is, how else could they color Him?  The pursuit of God and Faith is rife with these incidents.  As we know, God was good to the Israelites and blessed them, despite their doubt and distrust in Him.

So often, we become comfortable in our surroundings that when we are taken from them, we begin to long for the world that we know was bad for us.  We do not trust the plan that is in place for us.  When we leave a world, a life that we know, we fear what we do not.  I have been fortunate to never had gotten into drugs or alcohol to the point of addiction, but this can be especially true for addicts.  They cannot remember a world void of the substance which has, in effect, became a god.  To leave that world can be scary and daunting for them.

I just thought this was a beautiful picture, perfect for the idea of this post.

Fear not the world you come into.  Fear the one you leave.  Often times, the comforts of what we have known become our biggest pitfalls into old habits.  This is why support systems in our lives are so important to kicking any addiction, be it of a substance, of the flesh, of ill living or anything else that is preventing us from living fully.  You may not want to turn to the one I know as God.  But even to leave those dark corridors of your life, you need motivation and support.  I invite everyone to reflect on their habits and life.  Even I constantly must reflect on the life I lead.  Together, we can build a community to help one another overcome the obstacles laying in our paths.  We all stand on the precipice of life and on the edge of a great cliff.  Together, we can survive the things that may cause us to tumble into the valley below.

From Individual Back to Community

I need to have a moment to vent.  Last night, I encountered an experience at work I never, ever want to encounter.  I had a customer call me about a rebate program offered by one of the utility's I work on.  She began asking me about an incentive.  Confused, I began explaining the program to her.  She went on to explain that she was suppose to go through one program but a contractor cancelled it.  They found out she wasn't going to purchase an expensive HVAC unit and called behind her back, cancelling the service she wanted.  She explained she had lost her husband and can't afford to install such expensive measures but doesn't think it is fair that we don't offer it.

Giving a hand...

If you can't see what I find appalling in this, let me explain: They were taking advantage of this older woman.  And she voiced that she was afraid to report them for fear of retaliation.  "I don't want my house to blow up with me inside of it," she told me.

My heart breaks for this woman.  She will be in my prayers for peace and protection.  But it makes me mad that both women and the elderly get taken advantage of, even in this modern time.  How is it fair or right for the world to treat our elders and that of the sex responsible for bringing us into this world?

We are the only ones we have in this world.  We only have each other.  If we don't look out for one another, who will?  If we aren't worth protecting, what motivation does the army have for looking over us?  If we don't feel a sense of ownership for our neighbors and what is morally right, what incentive does the government have to look for our best interests?  How can we be protected if we don't protect each other as a first defense?

This morning, my fiance, his son and I had to go and have my oil changed in my car.  It has been long overdue for that service.  On our way out of town, we came across two accidents.  The first had already been mostly cleaned up, the people already whisked away for medical examination.  The second was fresh.  The people from the cars were out there, directing traffic and helping guide people around the collision until the police officers and other first responders arrived.  There had even been strangers, uninvolved in the accident, had pulled over to help figure out the mess until the police could come and take over.

All of us together make the world go 'round.

This is a prime example of how we should be trying to help each other out in this world.  Too often, we get involved in our own worlds and forget to see those around us.  I know there have been a few occasions when I wanted to help.  But we also have to consider that not everyone who seems in distress is truly in need and rather, a predator themselves.  There are accounts of women, stopping to help a motorist on the side of the road, only to be abducted.

What kind of world do we live in that we have to fear our fellow man, rather than take a community approach?  It use to be that it took a village to raise a child.  Now, the village is the enemy of the child, not its protector.  Perhaps it is about time to go back to the only way of thinking.  A sense of community, a sense of protection, a sense of family.