Like VS Love

How do you define the difference of the above terms? I have often heard people say "I will always Love you but I may not always Like you." What does this mean when someone says this? And which one can be more hurtful, more detrimental to us as human beings?

Let us first examine the difference of the two terms. When you Like someone, it can be platonic or something pedestrian. Like can be when you see someone from across the room or between friends. When you Love someone, it tends to run deeper and can be unconditional in terms of how parents may Love a child. Love can also cause us to forgive and embrace things about those ones we Love that we may not appreciate in those people that we Like.

See the difference?

I can Love my sisters unconditionally and Love them through anything they go through and support them. But there are times that they can make me mad and make me not Like them or the things they are doing, rather. But I can never say I stop Loving them. The same goes for those individuals who may have to watch someone they Love go through rehab or a painful experience. In this instance, they not so much disLike the person, but more the thing that is taking the person they Love away.

But which can be more painful?

I was thinking about this tonight. I began to contemplate asking my husband this questions:

"Do you Like me?"

With thinking about this question, I began to roll into my mind what my reaction may be to any response he could pose to me. If he told me he didn't Like me, he Loves me, I would have to clarify my question. If he were to tell me that he Loves me always but not always Likes me, it kind of stings. This is someone who is my friend and partner for life. Who wants to hear that their best friend only Likes us, "some of the time?"

Then again, if he were to tell me that he only Loves me "some of the time," this would almost hurt as much. It would lead me to believe that while he Likes being with me and around me, he does not see it as unconditional at that point in time. Almost like having that awkward conversation at the beginning of the relationship (teenager asking, "Why do not tell me you Love me?").

My husband and I just discussed this and he said, "To Love and be Loved is a blessing." Such a blessing it is. As Christians, we are taught that God Loves us unconditionally, that no matter the turns from Him we may make, He will always pick us up from the pile we create and help us back to the path. Much like the story of the prodigal son. This young man took his share of his father's inheritance and squandered it on pleasures of the flesh, food, wine, gambling, etc. He was left to lie with the pigs, thinking about how his father's servants were treated better and at least in a warm room. He decides to return home and beg forgiveness of his father and to be a servant in his house. But his father, seeing him, rejoices in his return and orders a large celebration. Seeing his younger brother being lavished over, the older brother asks his father why. His father immediately explained that his son had returned to life for he once was dead.

Such is the love of God. We can run away from everything we know, everything we raised up with. But we cannot run away from the Love He holds for us. And each time we come back and request to be a servant in His household, He holds a party for the child He though was dead has returned to life. And it is the children like that who needs the Love more than most.

If you had to choose a difference between the two, which would you rather be told? That you are Liked or you are Loved? Just some food for thought in this thing called, "La Vie."

Seeing the World Like a Child

Today was an eventful day.  Near the end of my work day, there was a tornado spotted not too far from our place of business.  As a result, everyone at my place of employment was quickly rushed into an area that would hopefully provide adequate cover for us.  There we stood, all of us, dispersed between three, windowless rooms.  No one was allowed to use their cell phone to let anyone know what was going on.  About 5 minutes after 6, we were given the all-clear, the tornado warning dropped to a severe thunderstorm warning.  With that, I left the company and drove off toward home, my shift having been completed 5 minutes prior.

The rain came down in sheets, violently lashing at anything that dared to pass through.  I sped along with all the other cars, almost as if we were racing between the rain drops.  Finally, I come out of the city and move farther and farther away from the rain clouds to find a surprise: it was dry.

Bone dry.  The sun was pouring down onto the Earth and the pavement, grass and everything else was dry, no sign of any precipitation.  I felt as though I had reverted back to a child, in wonderment of what I was beholding.  When I was a child, I seemed to think that when it rained, it rained around the world and when the sun was out, so it was every where on Earth.  Remember that moment when you would be outside and watching as a sheet of rain comes moving gradually towards you?  Hearing the rain hitting the ground quietly and the noise begins to grow, until you feel the heavy raindrops hit your skin, head and clothing.

I felt this way on the way home about another thing I noticed as well.  The sun at times was hidden behind that clouds.  But you could see the beautiful beams piercing through the cloud cover.  When I was younger, I associated this with God and angels, thinking this was glory raining down.  Nearing that concept of a rainbow, it served as a reminder that I was being watched.  I also considered Heaven to be the clouds, my relatives and loved ones walking over me, peeping over the edge to protect me.

When we are children, everything is so much simpler than it may appear now.  Beauty was easier to find in things and the search for happiness was never a burden.  The world came simple and everything was new.  I know I celebrate this mindset often but I am certain I am not the only person in the world who wishes she could go back to a simpler time in the world.

Well, Readers, my fiance has his son this weekend so I am not certain with what chance I will have to indulge you in my thoughts.  But if I have a moment to tell you what is happening or if the mood suddenly strikes me, I will be more than happy to share.  Until that point, enjoy life and don't let it pass you by.

A Mass Departure into a New Beginning

Exodus, n.-

1 capitalized: The mainly narrative second book of canonical Jewish and Christian Scripture
2: A mass departure: emigration

Parting of the Red Sea, as depicted in Prince of Egypt.

One of my favorite books in the Bible is Exodus.  The first definition lays reason for this, as it is almost purely narrative telling of the Jews plight in Egypt and how Moses was able to lead them out to the Promise Land.  As a younger child, I was entranced by the idea of the hardships these people encountered, as well as the might of God as he helped Moses guide them from Egypt.  It is a fascination that has been with my my entire life as I have constantly loved reading and researching about the ancient Egyptians.  I thoroughly enjoyed the fact that in modern times, Prince of Egypt was released, a cartoon rendition of the story from Exodus.  The songs are haunting and beautiful.  If you have not seen this, I strongly recommend the movie.

Why am I writing about this, you may be asking.  Last Sunday, on Easter, the assistance pastor of the church my fiance and I attend spoke on how when the Hebrews went into the desert, fleeing from the Land of Egypt, they began to complain that they would be much happier for the leeks and garlic of Egypt.  I have been pondering this sermon for the whole of the week.  I decided to seek out the verse myself and found this:

2 Here in the desert the whole Israelite community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. 3 The Israelites said to them, "Would that we had died at the LORD's hand in the land of Egypt, as we sat by our fleshpots and ate our fill of bread! But you had to lead us into this desert to make the whole community die of famine!"

Exodus 16: 2-4,  New American Bible,  Catholic Word Press

A "fleshpot" as defined by bible-history.com is taken to mean "One of the six kinds of cooking utensils spoken of as pots or pans or cauldrons or basins. Probably usually made of bronze or earthenware."  You may be thinking about this and, knowing what Moses had gone through to allow their freedom and the scourges that were prevented from falling on their heads (mainly the Plagues), why on Earth would these people grumble to such extent?

This was the base of the sermon on Easter and how the Lord will provide.  But how can someone not help but grumble and complain when they are so uncertain of their future?  Consider this: In Egypt, the Israelites knew hour by hour, day by day what would happen.  Once they left that world, they did not know what would become of them.  This, for anyone, is a scary situation to be in!  They have been taken from their beds, their pots, packing unleavened bread, and leaving all that they knew for all that they didn't.

In the sermon, there was also reference to how, while Moses was on the mountain, receiving the Ten Commandments, how a golden calf was constructed.  The assistance pastor commented that this was because this is all that the Israelites recognized as god.  They were associating what they had learned from Egypt and creating what they considered would be God to worship.  In truth, we know why Moses had come down from the mountain and, seeing this, became angered.  However, it can no more be attributed to their lack of knowledge as to who God really is.

Up until this time, man would see a miracle and make that miracle a god.  These gods ranges from the elements to animals to other human beings.  If we do not know who God is or what He is, how else could they color Him?  The pursuit of God and Faith is rife with these incidents.  As we know, God was good to the Israelites and blessed them, despite their doubt and distrust in Him.

So often, we become comfortable in our surroundings that when we are taken from them, we begin to long for the world that we know was bad for us.  We do not trust the plan that is in place for us.  When we leave a world, a life that we know, we fear what we do not.  I have been fortunate to never had gotten into drugs or alcohol to the point of addiction, but this can be especially true for addicts.  They cannot remember a world void of the substance which has, in effect, became a god.  To leave that world can be scary and daunting for them.

I just thought this was a beautiful picture, perfect for the idea of this post.

Fear not the world you come into.  Fear the one you leave.  Often times, the comforts of what we have known become our biggest pitfalls into old habits.  This is why support systems in our lives are so important to kicking any addiction, be it of a substance, of the flesh, of ill living or anything else that is preventing us from living fully.  You may not want to turn to the one I know as God.  But even to leave those dark corridors of your life, you need motivation and support.  I invite everyone to reflect on their habits and life.  Even I constantly must reflect on the life I lead.  Together, we can build a community to help one another overcome the obstacles laying in our paths.  We all stand on the precipice of life and on the edge of a great cliff.  Together, we can survive the things that may cause us to tumble into the valley below.

"Hoppy" Easter

Christ is Risen!  Alleluia!  Alleluia!

A very Happy Easter to those of my readers who celebrate the conquest of death by Jesus Christ!  For those of you who may not share in this belief, happy final day of March!  I certainly hope it is filled with candy, love, family, friends and happiness!

I recall the phrase above being shouted at the Easter Vigil right as the lights were to be turned on and the church brought back into Light.  Shouts of "Hosanna" could be heard in celebration of the cementing of eternal life.  To reiterate the meaning of this celebration, Easter is one of the most honored feast days in the Christian religion.  It is celebrated as the resurrection of Jesus Christ, the Son of God.  

Easter is also known as a time for rebirth and renewal.  The world is just starting to bud and burst from beneath a layer of snow or permafrost, the Earth becoming ready to till.  As is the Earth, so our minds must turn and till to prepare for more knowledge and growth in our lives.  How ironic that school was a thing taken up during the time where the harvest was done and the sowing could not yet commence?  However, when the sowing could commence, the learning was thought to stop.  It is as though where one sense of learning ceases, another takes its place.

This is much like the world outside of school.  While attending school, you focus as your source of learning is what you read from books and glean from your teachers.  You hardly notice learning from experience or gain wisdom from life lessons.  When you leave school, you may think initially that learning is completed, only to find out otherwise.  Learning doesn't ever stop or cease its existence.  It only becomes more intuitive and more ingrained in our world.

Just yesterday, I came to to learn another lesson.  You see, I am constantly someone who guards her thoughts, feelings and attitudes for fear of judgement.  I discovered that I still perpetuate this attitude in even writing this piece of literature.  My fiance reminds me well that I am talented in expressing my thoughts and feelings and yet, expressing them is to share a piece of vulnerability that lies within myself.  

As a result, my rebirth for this year occurred yesterday.  I shared with the world my musings, my writings and my vulnerability.  With this, I expose who I am with no holds barred.  I hope you will enjoy what I write and what I think.  Most of all, I hope you respect it.  I cannot promise what I put will be in line with yours thoughts, Reader, but I would be respectful of your thoughts and feelings.

I hope you all have a wonderful Easter and please come back to read more of my writings.  I draw from my experiences, my environment and what I hear around me.  Until then, enjoy a thing called, La Vie."

From Passion to Resurrection

Today is Good Friday, vendredi saint, and a solemn feast day for those in the Christian world.  In Roman Catholicism, I would be expect to fast, refrain from eating meat or have a complete fast and not eat at all.  But not only are our bodies bare, but the Church usually is to.

If you have ever been inside a Catholic church, you know they can be ornate settings, draped in cloth, gold and coverings.  But walk into one today.  If it is anything like the church I grew up in, the altar will be bare.  Crosses may be removed or, in the case of a large crucifix that cannot be physically removed, the face of Jesus will be covered in cloth.  It is a dark time in the church.  Services as limited to the Passion, the Stations of the Cross.  Light and bells are not flooded into the Church.  The Easter Vigil begins late on Holy Saturday completely in darkness.  Candles are the only thing we come into the church with.  It is when the light has left the world.  Suddenly, His resurrection!  Gloria is sung, the lights come on and we all start singing.

Today is somber to celebrate the joy for Sunday.  Easter is more than candy, bunnies, eggs and big dinners.  It's about family, love, celebrating the Light of the World coming back.  Even if you don't recognize Christianity, is there any better thing to celebrate than family?  Togetherness?  The light?

It's Spring but you would hardly recognize it here.  Who knows?  Perhaps Easter, when the Light comes flooding back into church, will mark the beginning of Light warming up the Earth.

Have a Happy Weekend...er...Hoppy Weekend!

The Road For Which I am Meant

A few days ago, I wrote about a dream I had.  I described it in as much detail as I was able to remember.  I also shared what my fiancé, who has a calling to the ministry, thought the dream meant.  In case you have forgotten and do not want to look back on an old post, the gist of it was this: I had come across an insurmountable hill on my bicycle and started sliding backwards.  Suddenly, it felt as though a hand was pushing me, without any assistance from my own pedaling.  I found myself on top of a beautiful mountain, a place where no one else could ever reach.  My fiancé shared with me that he felt it was God's way of telling me that He would always help me overcome, no matter what lies in my wake.

Yesterday afternoon, while I was on my way home from work, I began to think about my faith, God and the seemingly insurmountable objects I had conquered.  And a specific time came to mind. 

I moved to Virginia on November 30th, 2012 and began work at my place place of employment on the 3rd of December, 2012.  This is officially my first time ever moving out of my parents' home (not counting college, naturally) and my first time ever living with a boyfriend.  Work was progressing nicely and I was getting positive feedback all around from co-workers and clients alike.  Approximately 2-3 weeks into my new job, something happened that scared me.  This is about mid-December.  I work alternating weeks.  One week, I will work 9-6 (early), next week, I will work 12- 9 (late), and I work every Wednesday late.  It was a week I was working the late shift and I was coming home.  I was on the phone with my then-boyfriend, now fiancé, talking about my day.  I was driving in the right lane.  Suddenly, out of no where, a deer came darting from left to right and a collision occurred.

The deer got away but I felt as though the breath was stolen from my chest.  My poor fiancé was on the phone, the line quiet, possibly only hearing the heavy breathing being exhaled from my tightened chest.  He began to panic, I heard the concern in his voice.  I pulled over, I got out, still on the phone, and I walked around my car. 

The damage seemed cosmetic.  It was still functioning, just not pretty.  I got home and fiancé came out and looked over the car.  The only thing left to prove the existence of the deer was the fur it left, caught in the buckled hood of my first car.  We took pictures, I wrote my insurance agent and the recovery process began.

As soon as I got the go ahead to take it into a shop, I did.  They immediately put me into a rental car, saying the car was illegal to drive with the broken headlight (the lamp itself was still operational).  A few days later, I was told my car was a total loss.  The repairs would be too much to warrant the repair.  It was more than cosmetic.  I now had about 5 days to find a replacement.

I was scared.  I was afraid.  I wasn't prepared to make such a purchase.  Could I afford it?  I had student loans, I was living in a new place, I had a farther commute.

I don't know what happened or how it happened, I think I put a post out on Facebook about my plight.  My middle sister (who works part-time at a dealership) calls me. "We have a car here that is really nice.  It was just put on the lot.  You need to look at it.  I will send you the paperwork."

I did all the paperwork.  She calls me back, "They are asking about a car loan.  Did you co-sign your boyfriend's car?  You need to call and talk to them."  So I did.  I explained that the car in the accident was not the car I had just signed on a loan for.  I had to help my boyfriend.  He would have done it for me.

That Saturday, we went to the dealership to discuss the car and what the price might be per month.  I was cringing.  I was so concerned I wouldn't be able to afford it.  But I needed a car.  Christmas was next week!  I walk in and my sister was sitting in the receptionist chair:

"I am so jealous of you!  Wait until you hear your car payment!"

There were gentlemen around her.  One of them looked up and said, "I got your car payment to under $200.  That includes every insurance you can have on a vehicle."

I was shocked.  Something I could afford.  Something that wouldn't break the bank.  And a car that felt like a luxury car to me.  OK, so the electric locks don't work on the driver's door.  And the CD player went ca-put.  But it drives. 

I was thinking yesterday about how God must have had a hand in that intervention.  I was in a dark hour of despair.  I don't recall muttering a prayer for help but I very well may have.  But irregardless, He was there when I needed it.

The situation was very odd.  My fiancé told me then I should have driven in the left lane.  I told him it came from the left so that would have resulted in more damage.  My mom tells me it was a force of hand, but that I am fortunate to have found such a great deal.  My dad thought I got a good vehicle for the circumstances.  The very next day, I was engaged. 

I won't ever fully understand why things happen as they do.  It isn't my place to understand the phenomenon in life.  But acknowledging the significance of that occurrence in my life is a big step for me.  It is admitting that whether I acknowledged Him or not, He never stopped looking out for me.  If I reflect further back, I can see it throughout my life.  I am a very trusting person, which has its place.  But I put myself in some dangerous situations.  However, I always overcame the obstacles.  That's why I can enjoy a thing called, "La Vie."

Snow-Covered Dream

This weekend has been wild and the weather matched it to a T.  My fiancé and I woke on Sunday morning to a dreary day, planning to travel to Roanoke, VA to have a birthday celebration with one of his cousins.  Not even an hour later, I look out the window and snow was falling in heavy flakes onto the ground.  The world began to look colder.  We hurried to get to church only to find that services had been cancelled.  The birthday party was frozen, much as the world around us.  We decided to venture there, anyways, to visit his parents.

We had a glorious time.  I love my future in-laws greatly.  But the snow kept worrying me to no end.  What if we can't get out, I think.  What if I can't get to work?  What then?  My fiancé tried with all his might to calm me, but to no avail.  I had swung into a mini panic attack...OVER WORK!

I told him he wouldn't understand and I truly don't think he ever would.  How do you explain to someone that missing work is giving you a panic and anxiety attack?  That you feel your duty to your place of employment so strongly that it makes you feel sick to miss it.  Or how even when you are sick, you try everything in your will to get there or last there.  We got home safely and I am sitting in my pod, safely.  No worries, no anxiety.

Work seems to be like a constant in my life.  My father taught me a strong work ethic.  You look and ask for work if you don't have anything to do.  That is called job security.  When you have questions about things, you learn about it until you can't understand and then you ask for help.  That is called ambition.  Did my learning such a strong and powerful ethic cause me to go too extreme?

My fiancé would tell you that I am a worry wart.  Shoot, I would confess to that as well!  I worry constantly.  And yet, I tell the people around me to not worry about things they have no feasible control over.  So why can't I embrace that as well?

Saturday night, I had an interesting dream.  I was biking on a path and people were constantly biking around me.  I was moving slowly, but it was hilly as well.  And the hills got steeper and steeper until I finally reached a hill that was insurmountable on my own accord.  I felt myself rolling back and closed my eyes.  All of a sudden, I felt something pushing me up.  I was not peddling or using any of my own force.  I found myself at the top of the hill.  Furthermore, the top of that hill turned out to be the top of a mountain where no one else could reach.  I stopped there and gazed out in this view that no one else could or would ever witness and gasped.  I could see from shore to shore, boats in the harbor and houses in the villages around me.  I took pictures, inhaling the air and feeling the warm breeze.

Then, I woke up.

When I told my fiancé, he interpreted it the same way I did.  Perhaps it is God's way of telling me that nothing is insurmountable if I trust.  And I know I have a hard time trusting Him sometimes.  I worry and fret when truly, there is no reason.  If it is in His hands, He will find a way.  Maybe not now, not tomorrow or not for several years.  But it will happen...in His time.  But, until my time or your time comes to discover what is the answer, enjoy a thing called, "La Vie."