The Battle of Loneliness

This morning, when my fiancé and I walked out our door to go to work, I witnessed snow flakes descending from the sky.  I am sorry, perhaps Mother Nature did not get the notice.  It is Spring, afterall.  Easter is this weekend and families will be coming together for Passover as well.  Even if you do not celebrate, you will be enjoying the time you have with each other.  Or are you a victim of loneliness like much of the world around you?

Or like me?

No, that is not to say I do not have friends or people to turn to.  I have family who loves me, friends who support me and a man who will stand by my side.  I think, however, that we all get lonely sometimes, for no reason at all.  Have you ever walked into a packed room and still felt like you were the only person there?  That is the ache I am talking about.

It is an ache that has connections but longs for more.  It is a social butterfly left out of its element.  It is going to Prom by yourself and watching people around you having a good time.  But why does this occur?  We are so connected, so bound by instantaneous communication, that loneliness should not exist....right?

Right?

I have been a victim of seemingly unreasonable loneliness for a long time.  And it comes in waves.  Sometimes it could be something a simple as I reach for a hand that does not respond to my hand or say words of concern that do not get acknowledged.  I feel lonely when I feel unheard.  Earlier in my life, I felt lonely because I was.  I didn't like who I was (and I am still struggling with that) and I was depressed and down.  I am an animated person so if you see me, you would never guess how I might feel internally.  My fiancé is beginning to understand my non-verbal cues I try to hide.

Perhaps you are lonely because you are on Facebook and no one there talks to you.  Perhaps it is because friend after friend deserts you, despite how you are always there for them and would be in an instant in the future.  Perhaps you were betrayed and that betrayal left you with loneliness for answers.

Loneliness is not cut and dry.  It is complex, like all human emotion.  Defining it would not suffice to explain it.  If it did, this would be a one line blog entry.  But it isn't.  What is your loneliness?  What causes you to ache?  Mind you, I am being serious, but sex can leave you lonely too...maybe that is the piece you are missing?  An act not as intimate as you may desire it to be?

Be careful of Loneliness.  It can destroy you.  It can cause your world to crumble around you and control your life.  If you embrace it, it is hard to fight away from.  If you fight it, you need a hand to be pulled from the Darkness.  Loneliness is searching for us all...

Are you prepared for the confrontation?

 

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