Come the morning following an evening such as this, my mind begins to wonder the various loopholes and traps that might be lying in our path. We have to consider our finances, I tell him. What about the down payment, the water, insurance, taxes?
In his cool, calm, collected way, he laughs over the phone and reassures me:
We will be okay. We just have to pray and things will work out.
I drive to work thinking about how we are not even yet married and considering buying a home. Are we putting the cart before the horse? Or perhaps, are we building our home too fast? Whenever you look at a home, do you ever think of how long the construction actually took? Or do you just see a pretty façade and a few potential problems, a money pit or a dream come true?
I realized in a past job of mine how often we over look things. I worked in the sign industry. You read it right. I watched sign being built, repaired, conceived, priced and sold. I remember thinking that I had never thought about how every sign I saw needed to be made. And made in a certain way! Later in my job, I had to work in the vinyl department, cutting and laying vinyl for signs. I learned quickly that you can do things in a certain order to get everything looking pristine or do them how you want and potentially end up with a less than uniform mess.
Considering that, are we building our home, our life too fast? I suppose if we weren't considering the fundamentals of our life together, we would be. We would be building a shell without having a firm foundation nor a way to fill the walls. However, I am lucky that my fiancé and I share a lot of the fundamental morals that come into question during any relationship. Sure we differ in some areas. But we are two different people and that happens. My favorite quote about marriage is:
Marriage is a perfect union entered into by two imperfect people.
So generally, we are similar. We can say our foundation is poured. We even have some of the frame work built. We are experiencing living together, the division of responsibilities and discussions of the financial sorts. And we are being cautious. We discussed this morning about sitting down with all the numbers and complying what we think is possible. This includes bills, loans, possible things in the future, financing of a home and other various items of our household. So I think the framework is close to being done.
To fill a house, to make it a home, it has to be filled to the rafters, to the brim, with Love. And that Love can come from a variety of different sources. It should be Love for yourselves as individuals and as a couple, Love from your families and their support, as well as Love in the divine sense. Whatever your belief system, I am sure you feel an embrace from the world sometimes. It is time to embrace back.
No relationship is ever completely built. My fiancé and I will be building our relationship until the end of our days (God willing). And even then, I am sure, if you could ask us if our relationship was completely, I feel we would still tell you it needs work. This is due to the fact that relationships are not slapped together and left to stand the test of time. They are a work of art that constantly needs to be updated, perfected and improved upon. Perhaps one day, I will need to work less and spend more time at home. Perhaps one day, we will have to work more to have a home. But it is those intricacies, the salient motion of relationships that not only make it more difficult to maintain, but more rewarding as well.
So as I take you on the journey of building my relationship brick by brick, I hope you enjoy a thing called, "La Vie."
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