It may seem simple. You may consider that having money would far outweigh the need for Love. That you can fill that void. But you can't. A void from Love is one that is never filled because Love is endless so the void, too, must be endless and bottomless. This comes to mind today because yesterday evening, I had a conversation with a coworker of mine. She illustrated this choice (although it is not at the point of love) between a younger man who has similar life experiences or an older man who offers her comfort. She said her friends insisted it was an easy decision, one you shouldn't have to think about. As she talked it through with me, I think she already knew her answer: Love.
In truth, I am not unlike her. I, too, had decisions like this cross my path. I was offered to fly around the world, to receive a living stipend, to be cared for. I was told any work I missed would be compensated and paid for, plus shopping, fine dining and excellent accommodations. And each time, I knew I was not the only woman in the man's life. I was a companion, an escort of sorts, that he was seeking out. A younger woman to stand by his side and on his arm, one with intellect, who can entertain witty conversation. But it was empty...
It made me feel empty...
No, I didn't go flying around the world, receive a stipend or otherwise conduct myself improperly in this circumstance. I am a woman driven by Love. I discovered this every time I encountered a situation where Love would not be sown into the relationship/courtship. I would wonder why I wasn't enough, what I could do to become enough. The truth was that those men didn't want Love. They wanted a companion, someone they could buy, wine and dine and not owe any explanation to. An easy way out.
My past experiences paint who I am today. If I didn't not realize how much I run off Love, I would not be engaged to a man whose being runs off Love as well. I would not be loving his son, his family, nor anyone else associated with him, if I did not discover this pivotal piece of information about myself. The world cries and searching for the meaning of Life but perhaps we can only get clues. This was a clue for me.
Reflect on your past and the experiences you have come from. Perhaps, there is a clue to the meaning of your life within those painted walls of memories. We build our lives as a mansion, the outside is perfect, gilded and glittering with success and decency. But how is it furnished on this inside? Is it furnished with Love, Faith, Hope, Trust and other values you desire to have? Or is it unfurnished, waiting for the pieces to be put in. Perhaps all that is there is a crooked picture hanging on the wall. It is waiting. Waiting for you to straighten it and look into the eyes of your experience. Perhaps it is a mirror.
While you reflect on your experiences and what makes you, you, consider this. No two people run on the same emotional stream. This is why relationships can be difficult. What drives me in some aspects of my life doesn't necessarily mean it does for my fiancé. But you work on it. You compromise. You understand those differences and come to terms that maybe you won't get to cuddle all the time, for example. But maybe that's what makes those times you do cuddle that much more sacred. Until you stop by again, I hope you enjoy a thing called, "La Vie."
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