Ebb and Flow

Much like the number of visitors that come to my page (whether actually real or not), life consists a component of ebb and flow.  Good times come in as the bad times go out to sea and vise-versa as well.  Newton's law comes to mind in that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  So what does this mean for our lives and how does it impact?

When was the last time you were at the beach?  We are coming into the summer months and I am certain this is something favorable on your minds to do this time of year.  When you get to the beach, whenever that is, I want you to do something for me.  Go to the beach at dawn.  Yes, I know it's your vacation.  Yes, I realize you may have spent all year getting up after dawn to go to work but trust me...

At dawn, very few people are out to spoil the sights.  The sounds of the waves crashing echo singularly in your ears as the seagulls begin to stir.  You may see fishing boats or even dolphins in that time.  And to see the first light of day kiss the horizon and stretch to the white peaks of the waves is such a calming thing to witness.  Also, watch the ebb and flow of the waves.

Tides are brought in by the moon, controlled by the moon.  No matter where the tide is, however, ebb and flow is always constant.  The same comparison can be drawn to life.  No matter where your life is, no matter what stage, financial state or way you measure your life, the ebb and flow is constant.  With that comes balance.  With balance ultimately comes peace.  Peace that can be found in a sunrise.  Peace can may be lost when the next wave comes in but can easily be restored.

I struggled for peace internally sometimes.  I fear I worry too much, stress too much.  I have no control over where Life takes me sometimes and when I do have control, it is limited to how much I can influence.  But...I am learning I have control in how to respond to these changes.  Truth is, I can worry, fret, stress, cry and boo hoo until the cows come home!  However, when my tears dry and my fit ceases, Life and its challenges are still there.

We can try to ignore them or we can cope and face them.  We can try to run from it or we can embrace it.  Life is like a poker game where someone has gone all-in and you have two choices: to fold or to match the bet.  When Life hands you another challenge, will you go all-in and face it full force?  Or will you fold and let Life take you where it wills, as a piece of driftwood on the ocean.

Whenever I was last at the beach, several years ago, I was able to see the sun rise.  It took my breath away and, for even just a moment, I felt as though everything would be OK.  I knew the sun would eventually set on a bad time in Life and rise on a good time.  Well, World, the good time is here but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be prepared.  Embrace Life, all it gives you and its challenges.  It is that from which we draw our experiences and it is that from which we become who we are.

To Walk a Mile in Someone's Shoes...

As a child, I was always taught that before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.  As a child, the concept of walking such a distance was enlarged by my stature (or, rather, lack thereof).  A mile! I would think.  How far is a mile?  Of course, as I got older, I discovered how far a mile is and is not.  I had to complete a mile to pass Gym class one year.  Another year, I would walk miles in marching band without a second thought.  But one thing that never crosses our mind while we are walking that mile, be it by reflection, choice or required, is the gait we take as well.

Gait, as a noun, is defined by Merriam-Webster.com as "a manner of walking or moving on foot," or "a manner or rate of movement or progress."  Each individual person has a different gait or manner of walking.  Think about it.  Have you ever walked beside someone and had to change your manner of walking in order to keep up with them?  Perhaps they took longer or shorter strides.  Perhaps you had to move over because they walked more with their hips than you.  The best example of this is when we walk beside our parents.  I always wanted to meet my Mom or Dad stride-for-stride, but always struggled to do so.

Growing up, there was a remarkable place my family use to go called Imagination Station Science Museum, of Wilson, North Carolina.  This was a museum of play, where kids could run and play, explore and experience.  My sisters and I loved it!  I remember asking if we could visit monthly.  There was one area I remember the most.  It was a race you could participate in.  More specifically, it was a race against other animals, such as a bear, a cheetah or turtle.  Anyone familiar with these animals can guess which one a child could win against (Air Jordans or not!).  But a contributing factor to this is the gait and stride of the animal you would be racing.

How can we really understand someone if we only put on their shoes?  How can we claim to understand someone if we put on their shoes yet maintain our own gait?  We each perceive and experience the world at a different pace, seeing things at a different point in time, at own own gait both physically and mentally.

Imagine trying to understand someone missing a limb is going through if you don't try to travel through life as they do.  You can climb into a wheelchair and wheel yourself around.  I know, I did it with my grandmother's wheelchair.  But I couldn't begin to understand how it felt to be in that wheelchair for extended periods of time.  For life to have to slow down for you to get there in time.  Can you truly understand or pass judgement without first understanding how someone walks?  What speed, what size stride?  We can try shoes on shoes all day and walk in our walk.  But no one can tell a story like the other person's shoes, walk or stride.

This applies in all aspects of life.  You cannot begin to understand someone's plight, someone's loss or whatever someone is experiencing without understand first how they got there, how they are moving and where they want to go.  We can't begin to help until we know where it hurts.  And we can begin to pick someone up until we know how they have fallen.  If we keep all this in mind, we can all walk side-by-side, stride-for-stride, never missing a beat.  With that, unity can occur.  And every mile would be walked together.