Pushing the Boundaries

Why is it that you look both ways before crossing the street?  Or you don't steal?  It's against the "rules" right?  Well, the latter is against the law, but we were all raised with knowing certain rules or how to behave. And whether we acknowledge it or not, these "rules" govern all aspects of our lives in both big and small ways.

Why do I bring this up?  Well, yesterday, I came across a pair of shoes that I thought were just beautiful.  I have a color block dress with the same color and the shoes would have created the perfect pop of color.  I had a girly moment and posted it to Facebook, pleading all my to grant me reprieve for being stereotypical.  I suggested pairing it with the dress, yes, but also with black tights, even though the shoe is open toe.  I got a comment back from one of my friends which told me, "You can't wear tights with open toe shoes."

Why, may I ask?  I am not under the public eye for scrutiny so no chance of ending on a "worse dressed list."  I responded with the well known, "Rules are made to be broken."  Out of curiosity, I just did a +Google search for "tights and open toe shoes" and what popped up but image and image of women wearing tights and open toe shoes.  Therefore, I am not the first to have this inclination.

Furthermore, fashion is all about you and your comfort.  Listen to me, ladies!  If you want to rock an outfit and it may not be wildly popular by your friends, they don't matter.  Fashion is all about having the confidence to walk into a room and feeling comfortable in your own skin.  If you simply dress to impress and not for yourself, you lose what is so important to fashion which is your identity, your sense of style.  Now, I am not advocating for going against a dress code or breaking laws.  Simply, if you have a safe way to express yourself that will not endanger yourself, others or get anyone into trouble, then go for it!

We cannot live to please others because in that, we lose ourselves.  This goes for everyone, man, woman and child.  If all we do is work to make others happy and not be happy ourselves, you lose our path and who we are.  In high school, I read The Power of Myth, a book by Joseph Campbell.  In this book, he converses across many topics that span the passage of time.  But one thing that I remember the most clearly is "Follow your bliss."  I try to carry this with me daily.  To follow your bliss is to move towards what drives you, what you are passionate about and not losing who you are as a person.

With that, I leave you!  Yes, I know it is a short entry today.  Lately, inspiration has not struck me as readily as I am accustomed.  Hopefully this will change!

To Walk a Mile in Someone's Shoes...

As a child, I was always taught that before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.  As a child, the concept of walking such a distance was enlarged by my stature (or, rather, lack thereof).  A mile! I would think.  How far is a mile?  Of course, as I got older, I discovered how far a mile is and is not.  I had to complete a mile to pass Gym class one year.  Another year, I would walk miles in marching band without a second thought.  But one thing that never crosses our mind while we are walking that mile, be it by reflection, choice or required, is the gait we take as well.

Gait, as a noun, is defined by Merriam-Webster.com as "a manner of walking or moving on foot," or "a manner or rate of movement or progress."  Each individual person has a different gait or manner of walking.  Think about it.  Have you ever walked beside someone and had to change your manner of walking in order to keep up with them?  Perhaps they took longer or shorter strides.  Perhaps you had to move over because they walked more with their hips than you.  The best example of this is when we walk beside our parents.  I always wanted to meet my Mom or Dad stride-for-stride, but always struggled to do so.

Growing up, there was a remarkable place my family use to go called Imagination Station Science Museum, of Wilson, North Carolina.  This was a museum of play, where kids could run and play, explore and experience.  My sisters and I loved it!  I remember asking if we could visit monthly.  There was one area I remember the most.  It was a race you could participate in.  More specifically, it was a race against other animals, such as a bear, a cheetah or turtle.  Anyone familiar with these animals can guess which one a child could win against (Air Jordans or not!).  But a contributing factor to this is the gait and stride of the animal you would be racing.

How can we really understand someone if we only put on their shoes?  How can we claim to understand someone if we put on their shoes yet maintain our own gait?  We each perceive and experience the world at a different pace, seeing things at a different point in time, at own own gait both physically and mentally.

Imagine trying to understand someone missing a limb is going through if you don't try to travel through life as they do.  You can climb into a wheelchair and wheel yourself around.  I know, I did it with my grandmother's wheelchair.  But I couldn't begin to understand how it felt to be in that wheelchair for extended periods of time.  For life to have to slow down for you to get there in time.  Can you truly understand or pass judgement without first understanding how someone walks?  What speed, what size stride?  We can try shoes on shoes all day and walk in our walk.  But no one can tell a story like the other person's shoes, walk or stride.

This applies in all aspects of life.  You cannot begin to understand someone's plight, someone's loss or whatever someone is experiencing without understand first how they got there, how they are moving and where they want to go.  We can't begin to help until we know where it hurts.  And we can begin to pick someone up until we know how they have fallen.  If we keep all this in mind, we can all walk side-by-side, stride-for-stride, never missing a beat.  With that, unity can occur.  And every mile would be walked together.