If they say it on the Internet/Radio/Television...

Modern TV family

...it must be true!

Are you familiar with that ad?  I believe it is for State Farm insurance.  The gentleman is mapping his accident on his cell phone when a women walks up.  She is all about how they can't post any lies on the Internet.  Then she says her date, who is a French model, is coming who she met on the Internet.  He is far from a model and, from the look on his face, you can tell he lied to her.

Why am I bringing this up?  These media sources (radio, Internet, television) are ways we learn about how to deal with things and how products come into our homes.  Last night, on the way home from work, I heard a radio ad aimed at parents of unfocused children.  The advertised product was a game, a video game, that your child was able to play and learn to focus and learn overall.  They were giving away demos.  Not only did just this idea make me sad but at the very end of the ad was a startling statement.  It was not in the wording of a typical disclaimer.  Instead of "May not be effective for all children," it said, "Your child may not be successful."

How powerful.  Parents only want the best for their children, only want their children to succeed.  Otherwise, why would they buy such a product.  But the power in the statement that takes the blame of effectiveness off the product and places it on the child.  Therefore, if your child does not improve or succeed, it is the fault of the child, not the product.

The other component that blows my mind in this advertisement is the idea that a child can gain these skills all through a video game.  But then again, we are a generation that let's our televisions babysit for us.  Whenever we have my fiance's son over, I am amazed at how much his life revolves around the TV.  We try to turn it off for him to settle down for the night, only to be met with cries that a certain show was about to come on or should be coming on.  He has asked us if he can fall asleep on the sofa, watching TV.  When he is watching it, he is in a trance.

I will admit that when I watch TV, I sometimes tune the rest of the world out.  My escape.  It shouldn't be.  My art should be my escape, my music should be my escape, as should my relationship and my family and friends.  Unfortunately, by the time I get home some nights, there isn't time.  For example, all this week, I do not get home until after 9:30 every night.  Once home, it's time for me to finish everything else that needs to be done around the house, for myself and the meal.

Life gets crazy and hectic.  But that is never reason enough to set aside the relationships between people in order to hush a room with a movie or TV.  And these things will not help our children, our youth get better in school.  When I heard the radio commercial, I immediately tried to reflect back on how I was taught to focus.  I wasn't taught with TV, video games or Internet.  Those were things I was privileged to if I earned them.  Otherwise, I knew to pay attention, to listen, to do well in school.  I knew how to play by myself and with my sisters.

Perhaps with having television babysitting our children, it causes inattentiveness.  We try to talk to the youth while they are lost in another world.  It could be teaching them that it is OK to ignore an adult.  If we don't like something on TV or on the radio, we just change the channel.  At school, there is no channel to change.  If a student gets "bored," they will lose focus and have difficulty refocusing.  When children play by themselves or with other children, they learn important social skills, creative thinking and problem solving.  When they watch TV, they learn a completely different set of values and not actively either.  There is both active and passive learning.  Active learning is when the child is participating in an activity that helps them retain this information.  It could be singing a song, writing something down.  An example of this is when I wrote the alphabet and challenged my fiance's son to write each letter.  Passive learning is when you watch something and absorb the information.  At a young age, however, not all the information may be absorbed in this manner.  Maybe some facts will and others will not.

Maybe no more than a year ago, my mom handed me an article about games.  It was teaching parents ideas of games to play with their children outside.  They were games I played when I was a child.  Seeing something like this makes me very sad.  I know we are a world that is constantly rushing around until we are exhausted, not leaving time enough to enjoy with our families.  But is the extra three dollars worth losing your family, losing your relationships with your family, your children?

Wired In and Tapped Out

I am so very lucky and fortunate.  I have finished a week of work and had a productive day.  I come home to find my fiance talking with a neighbor while his son is playing on the jungle gym and with his scooter.  I got to have a great, little helper to wash dishes and make dinner (he is such a great little sous chef!).

We live in such a digital age.  In my job, I work at an operations center, in effect as a Customer Service Representative in a call center.  I really do enjoy my job.  I get to learn so much and help people solve their problems.  Our world is completely wired: computers, call trackers, IP phones.  Imagine our surprise when we come across people who do not have access or know how to use a computer.

Today, I overheard my coworker who is in the desk next to mine speak with a customer who was trying to submit an application.  She kept muting her phone and discussing how she can't help him if he doesn't even know how to use email.  Another woman in our pod turned to me, asking how someone could not know how to use email.  I told her maybe they are a mom-and-pop shop that operates by word of mouth, who would find no real return from Internet exposure.

It really causes one to think about how we work in our world.  When was the last time you unplugged from the Internet for a complete weekend?  I know I can't remember the last time.  I hope that I will during my honeymoon!  But seriously, consider the life you have had since now and watch the younger generations.  I can't believe how many kids have smart phones...and they aren't even driving!  I was not even allowed to have a phone, period, until I could drive!  Computers were family matters until college and they were kept in very public areas, so parents could monitor everything their child was accessing.  Now, you see kids who know how to operate tablets, computers and other electronic devices at a younger and younger age.

And what are we losing in this great evolution of thought?  We are losing our connection as people.  I remember watching the movie Crash and a quote really sunk in:
Graham: It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.

Think about it.  We don't connect like we had to in the past.  We know we live parallel to one another, but we don't live with each other.  We know there are others in the world, but how much do we actually know about them?  We cut ourselves off from the world, but then we complain about not having connections, contact, friends or other sources of comfort.  How can we change this?

I really think a step in the right direct is the Pay It Forward movement that has taken off this year.  Doing nice things for strangers reminds those people that there are other people who want to connect.  It then gives them incentive to pass that good feeling along.  Why not try paying it forward?  You don't have to buy anything, necessarily.  Just perform a nice gesture.  Call on those manners that our parents gave us.  Hold doors open for other people or compliment someone who looks nice.  We can all do a little bit to make our world a little better.