Back and Heart Pain

What a day! My poor husband pulled something in his back yesterday and woke up very early this morning in agony. I felt so bad. 5:30 AM and rubbing icy hot cream on his poor side, handing him some pain relief. Unfortunately, I awoke again to him telling me he never got back to sleep. We didn't go to church due to his pain but we worshiped in our own way.

We also went to Roanoke today to visit with my husband's family. We started our trip with a little ray of sunshine: my husband's goddaughter and her family. Her parents are amazing and she is our little ray of Sunshine. Just like our Little Man, Sunshine means everything to us. She can bring a smile to our faces and I love watching her mother light up. I hope we don't stay too far from Sunshine for too long. I hope to see her more regularly.

We then had dinner with my in-law family. My sister-in-law and her husband recently revealed that the will be moving to Ohio and taking my two little nieces with them. As you can probably imagine, this is a hard hit to the family particularly so since they have lived in close proximity to the family unit for the majority of their marriage. Tonight definitely had its moments but it had its laughter, tears and pain.

More than likely, the most valuable thing I learned today, though, was on the way home. We were near our home and deep in conversation when suddenly, I see two deer start to move into the road. I slam on the brakes, my husband bracing himself for impending impact while I hope my brakes take. We stop just in time, only for me to turn and, in my state of anxiety, say some harsh words to my husband. After some moments of silence, I turned and very quietly apologized. I explained that although I knew he was startled by the moment that his explanations did not help me when I was trying to maintain a calm demeanor. But then again, why do I always have to be calm?

The ocean is always seen as the epitome of soothing and calm nature and disposition. But even the ocean can become rocky and unpleasant to see. While it does not need to define me, I can't continue to hide my emotions for the sake of those around me. Even the calm Laura has emotions outside of joy. I let a little of that lose on Friday at work (not outwardly lashing but by demeanor).

A few notes in closing: Little Man, we miss you immensely. I know you are really enjoying your time with the Doctor but you need to know that your daddy and stepmom really love and miss you. We hold an open door for you at all times in our home and our hearts. Please know we are always there for you.

Sunshine, you and your parents are welcomed friends and family to us. It was so lovely to see you all and I hope we get to see you again very soon.

In-Laws: Thank you for such a lovely evening. Though it may have been laden with some sadness and a knowing of what is to come in a few short weeks, it was still sweet to share the time we have together as we did.

My husband: You do more for me than you may ever realize and know. I love you with all my heart and can't wait to share each and every day with you...including tomorrow morning's walk

But as for tonight....Hazelnut spread on toast!! And enjoying this thing called "La Vie."

Tales of Friends, Impressions and Dancing

While I was driving to or from work yesterday, the radio DJ read a quote from C.S. Lewis about friendship. The quote was:

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” -C.S. Lewis

OK, after having read that, tell me that this quote doesn't ring true!  How many times are connections won between two people based on a similarity in action, hobby, upbringing or a myriad of other things.  I came across this not too long ago at work.

If you know me personally, I love doing impressions, no matter how horrible they are!  Furthermore, if you know me personally, you know that there are several characters on MadTV or +Saturday Night Live that I have come to perform to a T.  I can't remember the context that it came up at work, but I began doing these impressions with those people who sit in my area.

A woman across from my desk then said something that shocked me.  She all of a sudden said "Base-a-ball has been betty, betty good to me!" (phonetically speaking, of course)  I looked at her and said it back to her.  Apparently, both our families had said this growing up.  Her words, if not verbatim, were that she thought her family was the only one to say that phrase.  (By the way, everything I am reading cites Chico Escuela for saying this.)  We immediately began wondering if we were somehow related, distant cousins or something similar.

Is it not humorous that when we meet someone who has done the same, silly thing we use to do, that we associate that with somehow being related?  Me and this same co-worker also discovered our affinity for dancing around the house, no holds barred, having a great time.  And let me tell you, my sisters share this same pleasure with me as well!  One morning, after my fiance had witnessed me and my middle sister dancing around my parents' house, I told him I couldn't dance around the house with him there as it would be too weird and he would judge me.  After a slight pause, I asked him if he would or what his response would be?  His response?

"How would that be different from any other day?"

OK, it may sound like a cut-down but if you know me, you know that I thrive off of being absurd and fun, being silly and trying to feel carefree.  I say try because I am also an immense worry wart.  The truth is, I am weird, strange, bizarre and love being silly and I do not wish to change this for anything or anyone.  I may turn it down at work or at other otherwise inappropriate places, but whenever I am comfortable, I feel as though the world is my stage, much as Shakespeare conceived.  The fact that my fiance acknowledges that this is a part of who I am is a compliment to me.

At the same time that we see kindred spirits in those around us, we have to know when to excuse someone from our lives as well.  One of the hardest lessons my mom tried to teach me was to get rid of the negative energy that may surround me or be carried to me by other people.  I really had to do some introspection and cleanse my life.  Let me tell you, when that negative influence was gone, I felt lighter.  I still feel lighter!  We won't be able to completely expunge ourselves of negative energy or people but the more we can dismiss, the lighter the load we carry through our lives.  Because at that point, we are only carrying our load and no one else's.

Well, it is a beautiful day today.  I have work to go to and then home again, home again, jiggity jig!  Tomorrow, my fiance and I are traveling to Tennessee in order to see his son play in a ball game!  Very excited to celebrate such a moment with my future stepson!  So as was said by my dad, "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise!"

Passing of Time

The sun is streaming into the windows, peeking its way into my world between the slated blinds.  I hear our little dog, Molly, crying for freedom from her crate and her bed.  I feel my fiance roll out of bed and begin to move within the apartment and start his day.  Meanwhile, I laze about, drifting in and out from the realm of sleep and dreams.

It is mornings like this that I enjoy so much.  I woke finally, after fighting sleep in my eyes, to find my fiance standing at the door, smiling at me.  I got up and made french toast and coffee.  Here we sit, discussing life and the day, our Molly lying lazily between us.  It makes me think about how we measure time.

Before clocks, time was tracked by the rising and falling of the sun.  Sun dials, then, helped keep a little bit of tracking of the hours.  Otherwise, the concept of hours and minutes is one we pressed upon the world.  Is it our need of structure that we impress our world into some intangible constraints?  But we have another way to define time.  That is the difference between the work week and the weekend.

At work this week, my coworker and I were discussing about missing school.  Why would we miss school? Because during school, you always knew there was another day off around the corner (of course, I missed school for the academics as well).  The summer or winter vacation would always be right around the corner, with periodic days off throughout the year.  Now, in the real world, I work everyday with the exception of Thanksgiving and Christmas and can take a week off a year.

But the week too is constructed by man.  Where did we get that there were seven days in the week?  Granted, I figure the answer would be by the tracking of the seasons and also by the history of seasonal celebrations.  It is simply an interesting thing to consider.

The seasons come and go but what remains standard is the love that exists between our friends and family.  Remember that nature can prove to be a source of inspiration and love in our lives.  But if we are in forever a rush, we miss what is the most beautiful in our world.  Stop and smell the roses.  Take time to take a stroll in nature.  Breathe in the air and focus on the freedom it releases.  Nature is at our core.  Try it.  It's a good way to reduce stress in a thing called, "La Vie."

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