Spring Cleaning

All your necessities: spray bottle, soap, gloves, rope to tie
your husband up unless he buys you flowers.

Last night, when I got home from work, I found myself busying around the apartment.  My fiance was out talking with some neighbors and I had said hello.  But when I went inside to put my lunch down, I was pulled to begin cleaning more.  Monday night was scouring the shower and last night, to go through several boxes and piles of paper.  My birthday is fast approaching and holds the possibility of my family coming to see me on that day.  And see the apartment.  I want it to look as presentable as is possible.

After being called by my fiance and asked to come back outside and then talking to the neighbors until almost nine at night, we came in.  My fiance was kind enough to go through the boxes I had pulled out and made dinner.  I wrote a quick blurb last night (sorry about that!) and worked on a project for a coworker.  We went to bed with an amount of peace.

This morning, after my fiance has left for work, I am sitting on the couch, indulging in chocolate chip pancakes (courtesy of muffin mix recipe) and a cup of coffee.  I began to think about the idea of cleaning.  Growing up, I hated cleaning.  It took away from time outside, in front of the TV or in a good book.  Time away from walking to the library or visiting with friends.  As a result, my room was almost constantly a mess.  I argued that I function in organized chaos, that when everything was clean, I couldn't find anything.

When I moved to college, I found myself trying to tidy up.  The room would get to a point where I would have to give in and begin organizing and making sense of everything around me.  Cleaning the way I have been lately has given me time to reflect on the way my cleaning has evolved.  Perhaps my lack of cleaning, my disorganization, was an outward projection of the inward chaos I was experiencing.  During that time, I was not a happy person.  I was struggling to keep the smile on my face.  I dreaded facing those kids at school.  The names and the cutting me down.  I drowned myself in my studies and playing violin but even the violin stopped bringing me a lot of joy.

It was then that either I or Fate needed to start cleaning.  Cleaning my life, that is.  In middle school, Fate allowed me to change schools.  I was able to get away from the darkness that lingered in every doorway.  No one knew what those other kids said.  A fresh start.  But Fate wouldn't allow me to get away that easily. We moved near the end of my high school career and I was plunged into a personal darkness.  I don't think it was until almost halfway through college that I began to try cleaning my life.  I tried to eliminate the negative energy in my life and surround myself with positivity.  That's when I began to clean both inside and out.

Spring cleaning is something that happens every year.  We freshen the world and ready our houses for the upcoming warmer summer months, months of parties and celebrations, of cookouts and friends.  But we also must remember to freshen ourselves.  No, I don't mean taking a shower.  I mean an inward reflection of how our lives are.  Perhaps we have been putting off an adventure we want to take.  I, for example, hope to travel abroad again (of course, it will have to wait until after the wedding!).  Perhaps there is a hobby you have wanted to take up but haven't had the opportunity to as of yet.

When it comes to Spring Cleaning, there are many possibilities.  Open yourself to life as it is currently and what life can be if you allowed yourself to experience it.  Cleaning doesn't stop when you Spring Clean.  You have to maintain the cleanliness.  Of the home and yourself.  Meditate or try new focus methods.  Spot clean something every week.  Go through clutter on occasion to eliminate excess.  When we live in excess, we are excess.  When we live with necessity, we are necessary.  Until next time, enjoy a thing called, "La Vie."

Cool, Spring Air

Wednesday nights, I always work nights.  Sometimes, it's a drag.  Sometimes it is a welcomed break as I can sleep in just a bit.  Last night, it was a pleasure.

When I finally got to walk outside of the building I work in, I immediately felt the rush of cool air and wind hit my skin.  I felt like I was in a dream.  I wanted nothing more than to lie in an open field, allowing the winds to swirl around me, to be carried about by the sounds of crickets and to be gazed upon by the stars.  To just let the world pass as though I had no where to be.  I dreading walking back indoors, knowing that come the next morning, the heat would begin to rise.  An Indian Summer is upon us.

While the temperature can't decide where to settle yet, the wedding plans need to take off!  We are 6 months out from our date of October 5th, 2013!  I am so very excited to be embarking on this journey but what a stressful journey it can be!  I am so thankful to have to people around me such as my fiance, our familys and our friends.  We have so much support through this process.

Nothing too deep to writing today.  It is the end of the day and I am settling in for the evening.  Perhaps I need to start waking up early in order to write more to my leisure.  Perhaps my times will continue to be sporadic in posting.  But I will never be lack of things to say.

Go outside in the cool, evening air.  Breath deeply.  Enjoy the world around you.  Enjoy "La Vie."

Passing Spring with Love Notes

I love a good, foggy morning!

Oh why does the weather torment me so?  Mother Nature, I need you to get on some hormones or something.  Your hot flashes and night sweats are simultaneously making me burn and freeze all the time!  I don't know how to dress, coat or no coat...please...go to Father Time's doctor's office and have him look over you.

I am so ready for spring to be here.  And I mean spring!  Not this Southern excuse-for-spring weather.  The weather where in the morning, it may be about 45 F and by mid-afternoon, a cool 65 F.  Where the fog lays heavy on the Earth and all seems still and pristine.  The dew collects on the petals of flowers and the world exhales slowly.  That is Spring.  When you feel as though the world could not get any more perfected.

Well, of course, my parents perfected it more by having moi!  Yes, there is much to look forward to during this time.  This is my favorite time to go for walks and enjoy nature, as is Fall.  The flowers are blooming, the birds are always singing, the world seems brighter.  It is the time of my birthday, which I love not because of the day but because of the time of year.  It is also the time of Love, new and old, rekindled and sparked.

My favorite thing about Love?  The romance.  The way someone can light up your world by the simplest of gestures.  To the same extent, someone is able to build up your hopes and dash them against a rock.  My favorite thing about my relationship with my fiancé?  The Love Notes.

Yes, we do the sappy, leave-each-other-notes thing.  Strange thing is, I love penning each letter as much as a enjoy receiving it.  If my fiancé elected to base my entire romance on the idea of writing me post-its or letters or cards, I would be happy.  It would be unlike the expression of Love I have ever experienced.  Afterall, what is writing but a forgotten art?

My fiancé has many times marvelled at how I can write this blog, while simultaneously asking if I have said any horrible things about him.  He knows the address, he can read it.  More importantly, I initially started this to help us communicate better.  A lot of the time, I find myself incapable of articulating how I may be feeling or what I may be thinking at a point in time.  In order to better express myself to him, as well as to relieve the stress of worry and contemplation I carry, I thought this would be a good way to nip it in the bud.  This is, therefore, an art form.

I remember being young and after receiving gifts, it was impressed upon myself and my two younger sisters to write thank you notes diligently to those who sent us presents.  I use to hate doing it, finding it bothersome and annoying, a waste of play time.  At the beginning of my engagement, however, I found myself consciously thinking about writing thank you notes.  I wish I got thank you notes.  Mind you, two of those notes are still awaiting addresses, but they are written!

When I was in about middle school, I remember fondly passing notes between classes with my friends.  Oh, how I loved getting a note!  I felt as though I was in a secret society.  This is why writing is so cherished, so loved by people like me.  This is why I adore my fiancé's Love Notes.  Every time I find one waiting for me, it is like a treasure on a piece of paper.  It is one of those things that is hard to let go, as I have no idea when I might get the next one.  I feel as a child on Christmas, waiting for Santa to bring her toys.  When all I really want...is a note from the man I love.

When was the last time you wrote words of endearment to a loved one?  Do you try to do it often?  Perhaps you should take some time and jot a note to your significant other about how much they mean to you.  I fear in this fast-paced world, we sometimes think those around us automatically know we appreciate them.  I know I want that to be acknowledged sometimes though as well.  It isn't enough to know you love me.  Tell me you love me.  Show me you love me.  Tell me your appreciate me.  Show me what I do is appreciated.

I firmly believe that we are all like children.  We want the approval of those around us.  We may be thinking we are OK to not audibly hear the approval, but deep down, the reassurance does wonders for us and makes us want to continue the praised behavior.  So write a Love Note, tell your loved one you appreciate them or simply go behind them, wrap them in your arms and tell them you don't ever want to let go.

Afterall...what is Life without a little Love?

Couple's Loving Embrace